Thanks 2012!

You are right when uou said one day i will thank you if you step out of my life. For that, i thank you once again. He is fair, if gives me so much happiness after going through so much pain. Alhumdulilah! I feel so blessed. Thanks Allah, thanks to the people who cares and love me.

Especially to my parents, i have hurt them badly with what had happened. I know i am responsible for it. For having to go through all the shame and hurt. Yet they stood by me and picked me up after every fall i faced. And shower me with so much love and motivation to move on with life.

Looking at how my better half treated my parents like his own, just assures me that he is one i can look up to, to lead me, my children in life, till jannah. Insyaallah. May what we plan for in the near future happen with so much blessing by the people who have never fail to pray the best for us. Amin ya allah.

Seeing double.

You know when you're loved when only he bothers to put your photo as his lock screen wallpaper every single time. I love my brown-eyed-boyfriend to bits. He's definitely the first to love me this much. Thanks lover!

Psst psst...

Every seconds with you is so beautiful. Never felt this happy till you came back to my life again. Never seen my family so happy too. Thanks Allah, thanks my Mr-Brown-Eyed boyfriend.

Patience.

I hope it pays off. From the last, I gain nothing. Simply nothing but just pure hurt and broken promises.

Smiles.

Dates with love, nomatter what we do or not do are always awesome. Including today. It was rough when the wallet goes missing yet, we stayed calm and pull through it together.

Having each other is enough to cheer up our day and have loads of fun together. No topic to talk, so what? It can be a huge load of thing to talk about eventually.

I am so lucky to have you. What makes me even more lucky is that you picked me to love. I am bless for that. Thanks Allah!

& &, at long last! Sephora brush set is love. Get me simply ANYTHING from Sephora, i will love it much! Hee... Today is so funnnnnnn!!! Can time stop when we're having fun? Pweetty pleasseee!!!

Being pampered

He's the only one who do not like to do anything or go anywhere without me. Sucha sweetheart. :)

For the feeling of being loved by a special somone, someone besides ur family that is, is the best feeling anyone can ever had. Felt this only after 24 years being alive. It's too slow isn't it? Well, that's love and life for you...

Look how fast a year have past? It has been good thus far. All thanks to Allah s.w.t for all the blessing and guidance. Shukran!

Being Happy

 Show encrypted text

Love.

I have never felt so love. Suddenly loving someone bring so so so much joy!

It's amazing how you bright up my life and bring to me only happiness.

I'm sorry I was actually blinded by love 7 years ago. Indeed, we are just meant for each other. I hope we will last forever sweetheart. Insyaallah.

Yep!

Fateful November.

Everything is fake. Your feelings, your words, your promises. Not even a year. Here comes November again. I hope this November will only bring me joys with just so much love. Like how 2012 have been sooo great thus far.

Feeling so blessed that God is showing me the truth and showing me to the right person. Hearts my Mr Lover. Yea, it should has always been you even seven years ago. Well God wants me to be fooled first i guess, cuz sometimes two people have to fall apart to realise how much they need to fall back together.

My dreams, my life, my hope.

Show encrypted text

The laugh.

I have been laughing a lot now.
I have never laughed this much before.
I have been eating a lot now too.
I am just so happy now that it scares me.

I began to questioned myself, "Why are you so happy Yusliza? Do you deserve to be happy? You weren't this happy before?

Then I panicked and became very afraid. Nevertheless I still thank Allah for all the happiness he have given me. I can't stop thanking him. Syukur Alhumdulilah.

Misses.

Dear Mamang,

Last night when i dreamt of you, it makes me realise how much i truly miss you and your endless jokes and nonsense.

You were one who jokes yet gave me good advices. You shared with me joy when you were representing me for my engagement that did not last 2 years ago and you were also the one who shared tears with me when it all ended.

How could I forget those words of encouragement asking me to move on and always be ok with people who hurt you as long you aint't the one doing the hurting.

We may not live under one roof yet, being you niece is enough to make me miss you so much, my dearest uncle. May you rest in peace there in jannah. We all miss you! Al-fateha!

Yes! I really hope i will find someone like that for me.

Love Story.

The feeling of being love is so great. I feel so bless. Alhumdulilah.

Loving my lover boy more and more each passing day. He sucha sweetheart. May what we plan for flows smoothly. Thanks for loving me and I am so proud to say that i love you as much too lover. <3

The best!

Thanks to you lover for all the presents and the day well spent together. The feeling of being loved is so great that nothing can push away all smiles that belong only for you. :)

HAPPY

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, HE LOVES ME!!!

Everyone had a fair share. He was waiting for his love while I was longing to be loved. & so we both fall in love. I'm a happy girl! Thanks Allah for lighting up my life all over again. Alhumdulilah! :)

My blog used to have this anonymous person reading it. Wonder if she/he is still reading. Hmmm...

Thanks.

Definitely a sigh of relief for you that i am so outta your life.

On a brighter note, HE who is always there for me, to support me even if it hurts him so much that the past is still haunting me.

HE who will listen to me and absorb whatever I say about you. Not enjoying it yet always there to assure me that the future will be better for us. Alhumdulilah, thanks for coming to life.

Thanks Allah for bringing him back to my life. Thanks for making me fall all over again. Yep, Everything happens for a reason.

To God, thanks!

Some may agree to disagree. That's life.

Afraid & fear.

Why am i so afraid?
Why do i fear so much that i will be hurt again?
Why am i so scared of believing on something positively?

I want to be who i am all over agaib. Noone can seem to understand me except YOU.
So pls, give me the strentgh to start believing again.

It's been so long since i last spend my nights tearing buckets.

Thoughts

When the past keeps haunting back and when one don't realise that her fear actually can hurt an innocent someone.

I'm sorry.

How do you feel about it? Different? Not?

Why?

Because perhaps work have been busily stressful. :/

Alhumdulilah.

Thanks Allah. Thanks for loving me and showing me the right way. Shukran!

Norm.

In the beginning its from A to Z.

Later it becomes, let's figure which letter in the alphabet.

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

First ramadhan with you & without you. Semoga Allah menerima ramadhanku dan semoga aku diberikan kesihatan dan keimanan untuk menjalani ibadah puasa ini. Amin.

Oh i see...

Got it?

Yea oh well...

What life?

Show encrypted text

My Foot!

I want to be back on my feet again.
I want to run and loose some fats.
This pain is driving me crazy.
Please dear foot, i hate being stuck, immobolised! :(

Face it.

Life will be more beautiful when we think positive. One of the best days thus far.

That day.

The random thought in regards to a certain conversation makes me derive to just one thing, anda teramatlah kejam. Kejam sekali.

Infidelity

I've seen this movie for countless times already. Yet, I still feel the frustration, anger and sadness each time I watched it, till now. This movie really shows how heartless men can be. My heart was once broken, perhaps that's why it took effect on me so much each time I watched this movie. Well, God is fair. But my heart goes out to all the single mothers. I salute each and everyone of you for the courage, the strength, and the will to raise a child.

Show encrypted text

The Story.

Show encrypted text

Cutesy!

'When you live a day expect to get tired by the end of it or else you're just as good as dead.'
Had a great Sunday the 20th! How was yours?

Show encrypted text

Yessa!

Finally at long last!!!!!!
Sucha blessed Friday for you and for me.
Alhumdulilah! Thanks Allah for answering my prayers.

=)

Cool.

A nice song...

Show encrypted text

Agreed!

Thanks to YOU!

Show encrypted text

Dear Allah,

Please save me from this mess. I'm becoming really exhausted. Amin.

Regards,
The-not-so-strong-girl.

Same & Similar

When I thought everything could change. It just won't.

Nothing can ever change? Am I that problematic to everyone? Am I really a burden for whoever that decides to be with me? I'm nothing but a parasite. .

The Sunflower

You definitely can't stand the existing old flower. Thanks for the new. Love it. :)

Are all you guys really the same? I am just so afraid. I swear.

Thoughts.

It's going to be tough. Yet, I will wait for you, come what may. For a moment, I was lost again. If you know what I mean...

-_-

One can forgive but will never forget.

Dear God

Please let today's surgery be a success. May the process goes smoothly. Amin.

See you.

Everything is crushed. Badly. Yet February had been great and it will still be the best month for me. Thank you.

Last.

& with the last, I teared so badly again.

Empty

I have never felt this sad and empty before. When my pillar of support is giving up on me, I am truly left with nothing else to say and do. I never want to cry this much ever again, but today I just did it again. It's not easy for me I swear. It's very much tough to be forced to be strong overnight. I am given with no choice but to move on. What other options do I have anyway? It wasn't easy. Indeed it was tough, but I wish to stay strong.

Now all that is left is just prayers, for you to be happy and safe always. & for me, to stay strong come what may. But nobody understands. Not even the closest one. I lost someone so dear, now I lost the trust of my closest people in my life as well. What am I left with seriously?

In the midst of that arguement in the car just now, I really felt like jumping out of the door while the car was moving really fast. At least I can run away from all the mess in life, particularly my life. Life is nothing but a pain. Every single moment is very much depressing. Amazing how that suicidal thought just rang through my mind. God is great. Just by closing my eyes, HIS name was all I see and instantlly HE stop me from doing what was whirling in my mind. Syukur alhumdulilah.

But truly, I have been through enough. The support and trust of my family is all I need. I don't need this anymore. I am tired. I am truly tired to face my own life. I know what I'm doing, please trust me on this and give me your fullest support. I am doing all this for you. Why is it so hard for you guys to understand?

Since everyone is giving up on me, one day I should just give up on life. Noone will have to worry or sympathize me anymore. One can't truly love me, seriously. They just sympathizes me all the time. Or rather worry about me. How weak was I? I will not be anymore, please stop it already. I don't need you people to be worry, I just need care. I don't need sympathy, I just need love. A sincere one.

Dear God, I lost my love, I don't want to lose my family's love too. Else, I am left with nothing and I will be weakened again. I cannot live with all that. Please God, have mercy. Amin.

Tears, tears & more tears

It's February and i'm very much weak.

Just why?

Why must you be so ego?
Why must you be so afraid to show the world you inner true feelings?

W. H. Y?

Defeat.

I tried to erase all memories with you.
I tried to erase all the love i had for you.
All efforts to erase you from my life failed every single time.
I give up. Goodbye life.

It's so easy for you. You take your leave and ran away so far. How i wish it could be that easy for me too. I wanna go somewhere far away. Where there are no memories of us.

Life is always unfair. I have to be stuck here all alone with all the memories that almost kill me every single day. I really have to thank you for that.

Weakened.

I'm not in favour to face upcoming 20ths. Especially next month's 20th. Pls God, give me strength.

Quiche

It's not for you anymore.

Last goodbye.

& I still have the urge to say goodbye. To kiss your hand and you kissing my forehead. How can that even happen?

Only to realise that separation comes without warning. Too sudden that you will miss the absence terribly and makes you go totally insane.

Mess.

New year, new life? How can that happen when I am still looking back, missing old memories. I want my smile back. The smile I used to have in the past. Everything is such a mess. I'm such a mess.

Still living in denial because you still visit me in my dreams and traces of you are almost everywhere. Still can't believe it i'm embracing a new year without love. Shattered, that I am, but definitely not you. Thanks for everything.