rough

The long awaited weekends is finally here.
Life's a mess lately.
Was running a high fever and have been going shopping to and fro to the clinic.
Gone like twice, thanks to the rose in my temperature suddenly.
There goes my pay, nicely blown away to the doctor. Or rather clinic.

Whatever. Annoying.
Forced myself out of bed for work and tuition because of the exam craze.

& Love had been calling me since he safely had reached Thailand.
How I miss him.
16 May, please come soon.
Ilmy hun! =(

it's a disappointment as you are priority,
but i'm only your option.
thanks for everthing and everything not.

updates

A short yet beautiful dinner I had with love.Thanks love!
& we saw a man who went into the ladies, came out stare at us as though we were the ones who went to wrong toilet. Wahaha!! Strange yet funny!

"Missing you starts from now."-her

"Loving you is forever."-him

Convocation Makeover Promotion

Anyone interested, do drop me a mail, call me, msn me, tag me or do anything as long as you can reach me. I'll definitely get back to you. Haha... good deal for you to snap those happy moments with your dearest ones who never fails to cheer up you lecture days. Espcially Ngee Ann peeps! Grab it grab it!!

The feelings within

I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm contented.

Angry, because I'm unable to spend time with love on our 20th.
Frustrated, because, although I am able to see him, I am still unable to spend more time with love on our 20th.
Contented, because amidst this busy Monday, I managed to have dinner with love on our 20th.

"Of course you are always wrong, and that is what I like so much about you. Your imperfection makes it all perfect"=)

Ily sweetheart.

Happy 26th Monthsary Love. <3

789 days & counting.

.You & Me.

Yesterday, I spent the day at work and the night viwawa-ing with Lin and Sharifah. & not forgetting talking with Lin on MSN microphone for hours and hours. It was fun fun fun. Finally we are not talking about project la seh! && finally I'm like gaming again with Sharifah & tommorrow, like finally meeting her. But well, the laughing geng is not complete becuase Reshmel cannot make it. Sabar je.

Today spent the day with boyfriend at his crib. Watched Black Sheep and Slumdog Millionaire. While he's sleeping I did my markings and talking talking with his mummy and not forgetting fried goreng pisang. It was sucha lovely day though we are not doing anything but just watching movie and me watching him sleep. But I so regret how ended the day just now. Boyfriend somehow felt upset that I sounded like I halau him because I just close the car door. =(

I'm so sorry sayang, I was somehow nervous to face my parents tadi because of something that's whirling in my head that very moment. I'm like so really dumb, can? I can never leave him without kissing his hand and him kissing my forehead all the time but I just did it just now. He did not kiss my forehead. I felt something was sooooo not right and missing. Stupid me. Why am I so nervous anyways to face papa. Papa's face is forever stern anyways. Ahhh, Yus Yus!! Haish, once again I so apologise darling boyfriend. =( Thanks for the day too love. <3

& this portion here is dedicated to my dear friend Nur Hidayah Bte Othman. Dier telang men-tag aku dan bertanya, "Kenape kau tak pernah rindu aku eh?" Amboi Dayah, soalan cepu mas! Sebab kau tak rindu aku la, apa lagi?! Hahaha, tak la, aku rindu kau cume cara aku mengexpressi kan nyer tu lain. Kau mane paham. Haha... Sesungguh aku rindu kau la belo! Bile kau nak blanja aku ngan Lin wayang? Driving2 kiter ker... aku dah tak kuaser nak pass kan theory aku eh, kau jer drive aku around. Ok? Rindu rindu selalu yer wanita?

Alright, nak tengok hindustan yang telah ku kebas dari rumah Shamku. =)

*smiles*

Had a wonderful date with the boyfriend on a very cold Saturday evening. Each time syg goes to the gym surely hujan selebat-lebatnya. Went to cineleisure straight after since its near to his gym, had dinner at BBQ chicken and we watched Fast and the Furious 4. I'd give it a 8 out of 10. Compared to the other Fast and furious, I think this is really good.

I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend so intelligent. Who can even read my mind. You are one in a million my love. Didn't know it would be that easy to disucuss such a matter. & finally we have come to terms with it. Alhumdulilah, hopefully everything will work out just as fine. Insya'allah.

Special thanks to dearest Azlina Subari yang sentiase berade disisiku walaupun telingamu bengkak dengan aduan dan whine aku. Aku tetap menyayangimu wahai sahabatku.

Oh yes, jumpe Chombi lagi tadi! & the first thing she said was, "Again aku ingat matair kau ni cine." Oh well, what can I say. Kerane ke-sepetan mataya itu la yang membuatkan Yus terpikat habes ngan Sham. Wahaha... sayang banget deh itu mamat. Tapi kadang-kadang macam dier selalu tinggalkan saya, hah! Benci habes! Like this 23rd, he's leaving to Thailand. BENCI BENCI BENCI!! Tak habes habes ni army menyusahkan hidupku! =( & that's why he so can't attend my graduation ceremony. Benci la, Selamat malam semua!

Tu la future LRS racing team nyer racer. Macam paham!! Wahaha!! & I thought my hair cannot do siput lela manja. But heyy... look... Wahaha, I loike!!

& when my bf say 'ORD oh', I'm gonna say, 'GRADUATION ohh!!!" Yessa!!

Visited Norhan with mama & papa today. Alhumdulilah Norhan is improving. Hopefully he'll recover real soon. Get well soon my dear friend.

*wonders*

I recieved the shock of my life yesterday as soon as I woke up with the issue brought up at home. And how nice to recieve another piece of news regarding oral that will be held next Monday. Like OMG!! I haven't start anything practice and my class is so behind time due to the handover work. Goodness! There's so many to cover and I'm left with just 3 weeks left before exam. Mati ah Yus! Amidst those stress just now, at least there's still something to smile about to brighten my day. Recieved that beautiful flower right after TTT. Hope to know who's this angel soon. =)

My decision is set. Will his be of the same or will it just go kaboom?! Gosh, this heart beats faster and faster each time I think about it. & when the issue is brought up, I have butterflies in my stomach. Ahhh, tolong tolong!!!

I swear I was perspiring like crazy, like as though I've just ran a 2.4km run without stopping, when they brought up that topic. I'm not even sure if I'm ready or not for that big decision. All I know is yes, I wanna be with him forever. Oh God, please help me with this.

Anyhoos, today my family went window shopping with the childhood friend Kim and her family. It was fun, fun, fun talking and laughing away. However quiet Jon can be, we were still as noisy in the car. Hur hur... Uncle Phillip bought me a dress. So do Kim, but hers is grey while mine is brown. As usual, brown always caught my eye first. Then off we went to Selegie for air tahu!! Yum!

Ok, my mind is still so stuck with that issue. Worst still, I'm unable to talk with him because he's busy at work. Ya Allah, tolong lah hambamu ini. =(

A Saturday well-spent with my huneyboo. Thanks for the day love. Hope he's strong enough for work tommorrow since he just went back to his camp like an hour ago, sent by dearest bro. I'm sleepy actually but I can't seem to sleep so kindda explains why I'm here.

Visited Norhan with my boo just now. What a small world. So Abg Kasillah's mum is Han's nenek sedare. Which makes Han, Abg Kasillah's anak sedare. Hmmm... and no wonder I saw Han on Abg Kasillah's sis engagement last year. Dunia dunia...

When hatred leads to much love all the time.<3

That fear.

It's strange how ideas starts flowing when we are in weird places like, the toilet. Now that I'm sitting right in front of the screen, the brain just go blank. I am simply unable to put my thoughts to words here. This is so ridiculous.

Anyways, yes, I'm drowning myself with work right now just so I am not reminded of all the treatment I get right now. I tried my best to be realistic and see the world as full of ups and downs. But the downs keep coming whenever I'm enjoying like only 10% of the ups. I'm really sorry but I'm still trying to adapt. Yes, I will still keep on trying so that I'm able to face my future. I have always hate this part of you but I'm helpless. Pendirian seseorang tidak boleh diubah oleh sesiapa pun. Some people understand but some people don't. Well, who can understand us better if not us isn't it.

Right now, if anyone were to ask me what's my biggest fear, my answer would be, my biggest fear is having to change my existing fear. Again some people understand but most people don't. Oh Allah, please, give me all the strength to face this and my future. Please please please. I'm tired world. Good night.