Each time I pass Nenek's room, I'll imagine she's sitting there watching tv or reading the Qur'an. Haish... No more company to watch tv 2 every Monday night, P.Ramlie show. No more reminders to eat medicine everyday at 8pm. No one else to say I'm beautiful each time I wear something new. Oh God, I so miss my cute nenek. Adek doakan akan ketenangan nenek disana. Semoga roh nenek dicucuri rahmat. Al-Fateha.
& then a week after nenek left us, my other uncle from the maternal side who had been suffering from cancer since 2 years ago passed away too. He had always been the nice uncle who never fail to make me laugh whenever we see each other during Hari Raya. This raya seems so quiet.
Tears never stop rolling from my cheecks each time I hear the Takbir. Sungguh sayu dan menyedihkan. Reminiscing the beautiful past with the love ones makes me weak and broke down to buckets of tears. This Ramadhan and Syawal is really a sad sad one for my family and I. Thanks to peers like Lin, Sydi, Man, Khai, Shazz and some others who were really concern about me and not forgetting the cousin, kak Liza for always being there for my family.
Sham came back only for a few hours a week after raya. Am so so glad to see him after so long, but it was really really a short time spent together and of course I can never get enough of him. =( Gosh, makes me miss him even more now that I'm talking about him. But he promise that the next one will be just me and him since its our birthday. That sound really really good tau syg! Haish... after which he might be sailing to Bangladesh again. Urgh! Which means not seeing him for like more than a month or so. Haish... I don't know what's going to happen of me for that period of time missing and not seeing him. I'm not as strong as you expect me to be. I don't know how to face this. Oh God, please give me strength.God knows how I really want Sham to be with me when Nenek left. I was at my lowest yet I'm still alone. I hate to say this but I really hate his job and people, think twice please if you are considering Marine Engineering. At least spare a thought for your girlfriend. =( Sham said the sweetest thing when we met the other day. I'm really flattered. You are getting so so HOT each passing day too hun. Ahhh... I miss that guy! I'll stop here else, I'll turn crazy. Really! Because I'm just too crazily in love with him and only him.
After all that happen I can't be bothered as much for raya. But ok tak baik kan, so yes I sambut raya ala kadar aje. Felt seriously exhausted. Had tahlil for 3 days straight and the 7th day. The plan to do something to my hair to the salon and all ceased and this is what I did to my hair myself when I went out for raya visiting on the 6th & 7th day of raya. I guess, my straight hair still looks fine and I don't need to do anything to it as yet. As long as it looks presentable, ok la...
Will not be updating any sooner either as lappie will be sent to Lin's brother for further treatment. Something is really wrong with lappie. Really hope that no reformating is required. Last day of semester 1 today and holidays starts from tommorrow. But I don't think its much of a holiday since I haven't start anything for my Teacher Portfolio for Juliana's module, Development of a Teacher Portfolio which is due next year. I keep telling myself that I should start like really soon. This is not some kind of assignment that can be done last minute. Maybe first step will be just collecting relevant artifacts for 10 principles. Haish... penat laa...
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