iwantpeace

watFew days back the beloved brother gave me a treat and we watched Sex & the city.
A super nice movie that you SHOULD watch.
I give it 9.5 out of 10!
Haha... almost perfect seh tuu.
Oh and did i mention anything about the brother buying me a GUESS bag and PSP?
& so he did. Haha...
I love him la, but i hate the part of him where he just have to toot toot toot...
Cannot say it here, macam kene censored gitu. LOL!

& that Thursday, after a whole day of mugging, the beloved bro fetch me and Lin from NLB, Bugis.
Went for supper and then a late supper again.
Haha... went to have mee goreng la seyy like finally.
But tak sedap. :(
After some jln2 and beli barang yang tertentu di MUSTAFA CENTRE, we headed to Swensen.
& yes that was around 12 plus.
Headed to town for Swensen and i had my waffle ice-cream!
It was like MAVELLOUS la!
But i still prefer the Jurong East Entertainment waffle ice-cream.
I am so going to have it with Sham soon.

& this is so the last week i'm going to stay out late.
Practicum started this Monday.
@ Kinsland Childcare Centre.
Not looking forward for it though.
I really hope to be attached to Carpe Diem actually but too bad.
Just hope this centre will be ok.
So no motivation. *rolls eyes*

&& DAC & CIRPE assignments is progressing.
Not bad. Will be meeting Lin in a few hours time for some mugging AGAIN!
Like URGH!!!

Dah la.. penat buatkan inai pengantin tadi.
Bye world.

It was so cute to see my boo boo syg getting all scared
looking at his granny's blood flowing from the drip.
Haha, he's super cute!
He just can't stand blood.
Get well soon nyai dearest. :(

Missing you Sham syg! :(

May's Bad

My May hasn't been good at all.
It's not a good month for fun, freedom and love.
But i still thank a few lives that have been cheering up my days.

No doubt live hasn't been good at all.
But i'm still moving on with life every single day.
Hoping that things will get better each day.

I'm sorry to those whom i hadn't spent time with.
Friends, esp my CE love and cousins or whoever.
& I thank you for your understanding.

A dear friend of mine have lost her love one.
I'm sure she's not at her best now.
But just so you read this girl, know that i'll always be there for you dear.
Be strong and have faith in HIM.
Insya'allah HE will help you pull through this difficult days.

Okay he's so not my bf.
Some friend of my mum thought he's my tunang.
But NO, he's my greatest brother who will always support me in whatever I do.
He's always there when i need him.
He's the one who's supporting my education, expenses & everything.
I don't know what's life w/o him.
Thanks bro for everything.
& he bought me a Lacoste shoe.
I so love it, thanks again abg.
I so love you.

& so YES, this is my bf.
My beloved Hisham Boy!
Okay let me confess something here,
my boo looks so smart with that shirt i bought for him.
& his killer & ever so charming smile,
Gosh, my bf is indeed HOT!!! Hee...
Yus always have this fetish for smart and segak boy! Haha!
Ok, stop it Yus!
& Syg, if you're reading this, thank me for the compliment, quick! lol!

No doubt the tears dried on its own.
No doubt so many shits happen.
No doubt i was sad.
But no matterwhat, my love for you have never change.
Ok i lied because i love you like loads & tonnes more each passing day.
It is always adding and never subtracting.

"seeing you smile, seeing you happy with me makes my day"- syg

If by smiling i'll make him happy, I promise,
i will always try to keep on smiling from now on, come what may.
When he said this on our 15th,
I realise that the little things I do can actually make someone happy.
& i'm not going to give up on you syg, NEVER!
I will still be holding on to you, to our love, because you're my only hope.
Sham Syg, ily! I really do!

Whatever happens, i hope our hearts will still remain as one.
One love & one us!
& he promise to be a good hubby, what else should i ask for from him right? =)

Sham always says that there's no need to say 'I love you ' to me in private because he wants everyone to listen to him saying that he love me.
But i insist that i want the WHOLE WORLD to know i love him.
Just 'everyone' is not enough. Haha!

SO WORLD
YUSLIZA IS SOOOOOOOO IN LOVE WITH HISHAM!!!!!!!!!

Okay bye world.

looking so good.

It's never gonna be the same again.
Happy 15th Love.

Almost Here

But when I need you
You're almost here

And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause your only almost here

When is this going to end?
I'm not as strong as you to face all these.
I'm sorry i'm just too weak to go through these.

There's no more tears for me to cry anymore.

I'm drained out of energy to play pretend.
It's so painful, it's just so hurting.
Just when will these end.
I beg you!
Please end these!

lonely

The pictures are her accompanyment.
The messages are her strength.
The feelings so deep is her hope.

lost.

I envy but i'm too empty to react.

Yes, No, Maybe?

U N D E R S T A N D

Do we even 'understand' what's the real and true meaning behind this word.
I wonder why we used this word so often,
but truth is, there's more to just the meaning of this huge word than just understanding it.

Am currently stuck with summary assignment for chapter 3.
Taking a break for a while and so here i am blogging.
You know what makes me to have the motivation to go school every wednesday?
Although it's just 2 hours of tutorial.
It has to be my lovely 2B01 lunch outing. Haha!
First place was cupphage to al-azhar to mad jack.
& not so sure where are we going tommorrow.
Seow Wei just sent me pictures, so here are the ladies who brighten up my Wednesdays!

Seow Wei & Me. Thanks for the pictures dearie.

That's Nadie, Seow Wei & Bridget Kang! ;P

Me, Shu Ling, Nadie, Linnie.

Qing Ling, the camera's owner & constance.

Me, Cindy, Bi Zhen, Azlina (sengajer spell full name! lol.) Shu Ling & Ah Kang!

Chan Li Yu & Me @ Island Creamery.

Linnie lin lin & Me posing with ice-cream.

& yours truly, courtesy of Seow Wei to lend her cap for me to pose!

The only person who went but not in picture, Khai khai! Hur hur!
After which we all headed for projects, assignments and anything & whatever!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hectic days yet smilling.
Because by smilling we'll go through all obstacles with so much ease.
Get well soon to dearest uncle who is admitted in the hospital.
A loving man & a man of few words.

Speedy recovery to him.
Insya'allah.

&& my spectacles broke into pieces just now in the school's toilet.
It drop and 3 books hit on top of it.
How NICE!!
Urgh!!

6 more days till the boyfriend's back.
Can't wait for Sunday to come.
I soo miss that boo of mine.
He called just now and got cut halfway.
How irritating.
Miss him to bits.

2 assignments (summary) down & more lesson plans to go!
Grrr......
Oh yes...

To hidayah: Miss miss you too babe! Yesh yesh will hang out real soon yea? Nanti Man bawak Calamari matair dier. OK? Haha!!

To faezah: Haha... thks so much. Destress teros when i see you nanti. Bagus ah, ur like a stress reliever. Next time can introduce to people, Faezah the stress reliever. Buy 1 get 1 free. Got commission or not if i do that? Hahaha!! j/k!! You take care ya? =)

To -fiddy-: Heyloo dearie, thanks for dropping by ya? You take care too yea? *hugs*

Goodbye World!

In need of Sham Love!

Nothing much to say after doing this endless summary.
I'm so dead tired & exhausted!

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I MISS MY HISHAM BOY!!!!

I was doing my assignments with Lin when the Windows Media Player randomly played songs.
&& it played Only Hope sung by non other than Mandy Moore.
The same song when he confess his love for me.
When he went down on his knees to express his love for me
When he took my hand and put on a ring on my finger.
& said i'm his Only Hope!!

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!
How i miss that boy!! =(

Frustrating warm day it is.

It's sucha warm warm warm day.
It's so hot here, i wonder what's the weather like in Thailand now.
Hope the boyfriend is doing ok there.
With the killing weather. Gees...
Missing him like crazy.
& the assignments are not helping at all.
Summaries, summaries & more summaries.
So dead tired.
Labour day is so not a public holiday but "an adding on to assignment' day.
Got a new assignment today to make up for Labour Day holiday.
ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!
All the best Yus!

Warmth.

It is sucha warm day today.
It was a super hot day that after lunch,
Lin, Khai, Nad & Me bought a tub of ice-cream & ate it at Khai's place.
After which we rushed back to school to have DAC with Corina.
This hot weather just makes me restless that i can't stop disturbing Lin in class.
Ouh wells!

After a long long long time, i am suppose to write a Summary again.
The last time i did a summary was during O level English Paper 2 man.
Now that's my assignment now.
Reading a freaking long article and chapters and then 3 summaries in all.
I realised now why Ms Dalina always emphasize on our summary writting.
How important is it for us.
I've always hated English and so i sucked at writting.

I'm so in need of Ms Dalina now.
Or maybe Mrs Wong Guan Khor.
How i wish they were reading this! Grrr....
I so need to go back Hua Yi for an hour of English remedial.
Else i'll just flunk this assignment of mine!
Urgh, i hate english writting or whatever crap this assignment can relate to!
URGH!!!

These days.

It's going to be the end of weekends.
It's not that i don't like it.
As much as i really hope that the day will pass quickly & that 11th May will come fast,
because that's when Sham will be back.
I don't want the days to pass quickly.
Contradicting?
Okay mainly because there's assignment due on the 2nd, 5th & 9th May.
& till now i haven't start anything, not even the readings.
How interesting is that.
Ok let's just pass on this for awhile.

Basically last Thursday, i was suppose to send papa for his check up at SGH.
Unfortunately, the eyes was giving me a hard time that day.
I went to school with the most selekehness, anyone can i ever imagine Yus can be.
With the swollen & red eye, i took the bus with everyne staring at me.
Yes, the tembel strikes back.
&& NO eh i never mengintai orang tengah bogel or anything!
Gees!!
I woke up having difficulty opening my eyes & it was super duper painful & itchy!
I decided not to wait for 2 weeks like last time to see Dr Khairul & got operated,
so i went to clinic that day itself .
Dr Khairul was so proud of me because i went to see him immediately & not wait like the last time.

No operation or anything this time like THANK GOD!!!
I hate that operation, i am so super serik that i swear i never want an operation ever.
It was so painful and i swear i cried like a baby when Dr Khairul was doing the op for me.
Yikes, don't wanna talk about it. Such a trauma!

Was really looking forward to shop with Lin & meet up with Man, Dayah & bro on Friday.
So i never skipped the medicine and the cream for my eyes so that it would be A-OK by Friday.
Since the eye was getting better & i promised them to be there on Friday,
So yes, went shopping with Lin, Khai & Li Yu after school first,
Got some tops for bf & myself.
After getting all tired with the shooping craze, went to al-majlis.
While we waited for Dayah & Man, Lin & Me get super bored.
So here goes nothing...

Then, we decided to snap each other's picture using our handphones.
That's my shiok sendiri pictures. Lin's pictures are in her phone.
So too bad i can't post it here. LOL!

Went to have late dinner with Lin, Man, Dayah & Bro at Simpang Bedok.
& the best part was Lin slept over my house.
Haha... thanks to her parents for allowing her to stay over my house.
So i'm not alone that night. LOL!
In all last Friday was superb!
Dayah was crazy as ever, ader ker dier cakap matair si Man namernyer calamari?
This was the conversation:

Me: Kau ni Man, dari kerje bukan nak bawak Calamari datang sini.
Man: Tak cakap maner aku tahu.
Dayah: Huh? Kau tak bawak matair kau? Namer matair kau Calamari?
Lin: Mampos, dayah!! LOL!!!!!

Hahaha! A lot of laughter, singing, screaming and surprises that day.
Especially in the car when Lin shouted a name!
Haha... you know i know la yer Dayah & Lin!
We went to drive around a place which really shows me the reality of life. Gees!

& after food, everyone was so dead while i was too hyper.
Noone actually layan me after food.
Like what the hell.
Abg and Man nak kencing.
Lin nak muntah!!
After the toilet session at caltex after sending dayah home, everyone was back to normal.
Man was like drifting all the way while driving.
The song was "Fast & furious, drift drift drift."
His was "Tokyo Tokyo!!!"
Mampos!!! Joker sak ini mamat!
My stomach can explode anytime due to excessive laughter. Haha!
Thanks people for the wonderful night!
After this no more hanging out for the time being,
because i got no choice but not to be lazy anymore and start with the piling assignments.
I'm sure Lin will go, HAIZ!!!!! MALAS LA SAK!!!!!!!!! Haha!

&& boyfriend have been calling me everyday.
At least lepas sikit rindu dapat dengar suara my Hisham. Hehe!
Unlike Taiwan last time, he can only call me like once in 3 weeks.
Rindu banget dehh sama ini syg sorang. Grr...
He come back first thing nak gigit dier ah! Geram ah! Hahahahaha!!
& i can't wait to watch Made of Honour when he's back.

Okay, eyes is giving me a really really hard time now.
Itchy la, pain la. Wanna do readings also no mood.
How to start assignment?!
For now, i just feel like screaming...
Don't mind ehh...
NAK SHAM NAK SHAM NAK SHAM NAK SHAM,
NAK SHAM JUGAK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Last Monday, while i was hanging out with Lin & Man at Island Creamary,
my boyfriend called me to ask for my address.
He said it was for some lucky draw thingy.
Never did i expected that it was actually for something so so sweet.
Not some lucky draw but a lovely surprise gift for me.



It was our 14th Monthsary & that's so my gift.
Ain't he sweet or what?
How can i not love my boyfriend like so bloody much right?
Thanks syg, i simply love it & appreciate it so much.
You shouldn't have trouble yourself Syg,
because even w/o gifts i will still love you like tonnes & tonnes.
I love you sweetheart!



Ytd when i sent him off at the airport, i so didn't wanna let go of him!
Urgh, these army thang is really getting on my nerves!
Even w/o his presence he can make me smile so wide.
Indeed, i smile the widest today upon receiving that gift & not only that,
Tears almost roll down my cheeks when i read those words written on the card he gave me.
It was the most beautiful card anyone had ever gave to me.





Ok yes, i cried upon reading this. Here's a closer one.



The words were so meaningful. Thanks love!
Though you're far from me but you're always close to my heart.
May we continue to love & may we last forever.
I love you & missing you badly here syg! Muackz!

School starts at 9am tommorrow & thus i should be asleep by now.
But no, i'm stubborn enough to tell myself to wait for his msg.
There was no msg or call from him the whole day.
& i just know that how late he is, how busy he is he'll still msg me.
& my wait was eventually rewarded with his msg at 12:46am.
I know he's dead beat & i'm so worried about him.
God, pls take care of him for me,
Cause he may not be as strong as he is when he often make that remark;
"It's okay, i'm strong."
Though he's the hero in this story, i guess he still need to be taken care of by the only, ME!
So, pls give him all the energy to face through these hard times.
Insya'allah, our distant will only bring us closer because,
sometimes the greatest journey is between the distance between two people.
I love him.

Because...

Why does my love for you swell so up & high?
What more can i give you except for my life.
My life is for you,
have at least some concern.

You are my breathe, my heartbeat,
& the cause of my infactuation
The creator made me so infactuated only about you.
Have at least some concern.

Rough Vs Tough

This few weeks have been rather a rough & tough week
I'm glad that school have already started.
Else, i'll be at home rotting after work while the bf will be away to Thailand.
Yeah, like again.
After Taiwan, Thailand pulak!
Crap to the core.

& you know i've been trying really hard to get over it.
To get over the fact that i'm facing another 3 weeks of hell w/o my love again.
At times i really hope he knows how much i really misses him.
At times i'm mad, i just feel like meeting him every single day now even if I could only kiss his hand & him kissing my forehead like each time he will want to leave me.
I can't thank God enough if that would happen.
But i know its impossible.
He will be super tired by then.
With his work at camp and all.

As much as how people say all those like even if we meet for a while can 'menghilangkan rindu',
i guess i really need to work hard and accept the fact that he's going away again now and soon, in the future. So avoid meeting often.
Honestly i tried to remain calm and take it cool that he's always away but deep inside,
I'm really broken, i feel so lost, and all i want to do is to cry like how babies would do, when they are hungry for milk.
That's exactly how i am, the thirst for Sham, Sham, Sham!

To admit this is really embarrassing, oh goodness.
But i just need to say it.
I can't afford to bottle up everything.
Just hope he would not be reading this post.
Yikes, malu malu!
It's really embarrassing like toot if he knows.

Haish, & when the most important thing to do now is to tell him how much i miss him.
I simply can't.
Why?!
I got no idea.
I called him to say i miss him, but i just couldn't bring myself to say it.
To say it in my best & proper way.
I just can't!!!
But when i said i miss you, i don't think it's the right way to express how i really really feel right now. Because simply, no words can describe how much i miss, love & long for his presence all the time.

I may hurt him so much but deep down, i really don't have the intention to.
I swear.
Guess, now, i need to keep my cool.
Don't get so emotional & got to remove the urge of wanting to meet him all the time.
Yes yes, i'm trying real hard.
Dear God, please give me the strength to face all these obstacles.

Amidst all these, i thank God i have crazy friends who never fails to show me their care and concern.
To Lin, Shariffah, Sydi and Man...
Thanks guys.
& hanging out with Lin & Man with tasty ice-cream at island creamery was absolutely stress relieving.
I can't thank God enough for this lovely gifts of His.
To present me these beautiful people in my life.
& of course saving the best for the last,
Thanks God, for bringing Sham to my life.
He show me the best part of life that is being in love.

Till then good morning world.

a lot like crap.

A lot of shits happened these few days.
No doubt a lot of fun happened too.
But at times i just feel that it's hard to pretend
what more bottling things up.
I miss those days.
& i wish i could turn back time.

One more thing i'm closing my blog.
Real soon.
Goodbye world.