I'm such in a 'whatever' mood today. Seriously whatever. I'm feeling so exhausted these few days i don't know why. Have not been feeling well and good also. I hate this feeling. Maybe it's just the stress I'm facing each day. It's an amazingly hectic life I'm going through. Sometimes i wish I'm still in my childhood days. Where i have nothing to worry about. No responsibilities. Just a carefree life. Sleep, play, eat and of course receiving endless love, care and concern.
OK whatever to that. I opened to check on my blog and the first thing i read was Kak Sal's tag. She reminded me that my birthday's just around the corner. Well, i hate to admit this but actually i fear of my own big day. Nothing excites me when it comes to my birthday. Just tonnes of fear.
4 years ago, i was really ill during my birthday. Was admitted in and out of hospital because of acute bronchitis. 3 years ago, i lost my hand phone at home when i was having my birthday party. 2 years ago, i celebrated my birthday with just nobody but tears. I thought i could celebrate it with someone so special to me as promised but i didn't know i was hoping for too much. I was utterly hurt and yep my birthday ended with just tears of loneliness. & a year ago, i celebrated my birthday with just myself again. Though it was the year i found my love, the love one have to go somewhere far leaving me alone.
So you see, nothing special. No beautiful, interesting surprises happen on my birthday. Simply nothing. Not like most of you who will get fantastic surprises and presents. At times i do envy those people. Even the closest people around me feel that my birthday is just like any other day for me. But, oh well, i accept life just as it is. I shall not complaint much because i know i still have people who love me as much even if they don't remember it's my birthday. I'm blessed still to have my family. They may not be as rich to give me expensive presents but their presence is enough to make me the happiest girl on the big day.
Yeah so, birthday is just something i don't really look forward to. Adding on to it, i gain a year older each time my birthday comes, which means I'm getting older! Ha ha... so no biggie. & so my birthday falls on a festive month this year. My mum insist that we'll do something this year but nah I'm not agreeing to it. After much thinking, i guess, there isn't much to celebrate about. So i said thanks to my mum, maybe we could just give it a pass for my birthday thingy.
So last word for the day. Whatever.
OK whatever to that. I opened to check on my blog and the first thing i read was Kak Sal's tag. She reminded me that my birthday's just around the corner. Well, i hate to admit this but actually i fear of my own big day. Nothing excites me when it comes to my birthday. Just tonnes of fear.
4 years ago, i was really ill during my birthday. Was admitted in and out of hospital because of acute bronchitis. 3 years ago, i lost my hand phone at home when i was having my birthday party. 2 years ago, i celebrated my birthday with just nobody but tears. I thought i could celebrate it with someone so special to me as promised but i didn't know i was hoping for too much. I was utterly hurt and yep my birthday ended with just tears of loneliness. & a year ago, i celebrated my birthday with just myself again. Though it was the year i found my love, the love one have to go somewhere far leaving me alone.
So you see, nothing special. No beautiful, interesting surprises happen on my birthday. Simply nothing. Not like most of you who will get fantastic surprises and presents. At times i do envy those people. Even the closest people around me feel that my birthday is just like any other day for me. But, oh well, i accept life just as it is. I shall not complaint much because i know i still have people who love me as much even if they don't remember it's my birthday. I'm blessed still to have my family. They may not be as rich to give me expensive presents but their presence is enough to make me the happiest girl on the big day.
Yeah so, birthday is just something i don't really look forward to. Adding on to it, i gain a year older each time my birthday comes, which means I'm getting older! Ha ha... so no biggie. & so my birthday falls on a festive month this year. My mum insist that we'll do something this year but nah I'm not agreeing to it. After much thinking, i guess, there isn't much to celebrate about. So i said thanks to my mum, maybe we could just give it a pass for my birthday thingy.
So last word for the day. Whatever.
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