An update for you hun

So hun, yea she won the petite cycle for Anerican Next top Model.
Nicole.
So apparently, she's representing all the shorties around the world.
Haha!

Though I thought Laura was more charismatic and gorgeous.
Bila aku nak cantek gini? Hee...
=)

-_-

Watching American Idol makes me have the urge to text Sham and say:

"Syg jgn luper tgk american idol."

Which it is impossible now because I just tried to randomly call him and then the operator says:

"Nombor yang anda dial, tidak ada khidmatannya."

That's the malaysian waters for you Yus.
Thanks ehh.. Urgh!!

Benci benci benci!!! =(

When ur gone...

After a whole time of shit we faced,
when the situation is getting better,
you have to leave me syg.
Sham just left for Africa this time round.

I'll pray for your safety always hun.
Last Saturday was hell for us and I kept telling myself, I never want that day to happened again.
With a heavy heart & without tears, i'm letting you go.
Have a safe trip my love.
I'm gonna miss you so. <3

I Know... How?

I know i'm not needed.
I know i'm still going to miss you so.
I know because basically, i've fallen in love.
I know my imperfection hurts.
I know I have to apologize for falling too deep.

What I don't know is...

How to face my tommorrows.
How to turn back time to where you felt more.
How to stop the doubt.
How to overcome the solitude.
How to be a better person.

Yep, it's way past midnight.
Yep, i'm not falling asleep.
Yep, something is bothering me.
Yep, so many things to think about.
Yep, I can easily answer and I hope you would too.

C.O.N.F.U.S.E.D

Truth is I am really sure about how I'm feeling.
However, it's your feelings that I'm unsure of.
So I'm rather confused.

On a random note, I'm back teaching at BLGPS.
So nice to see the colleagues here again.
The countdown to Boston is crazily scary.

URGHH!!!!

April's Twentieth

Amidst all these frustration and preparation for Boston trip, a date with my love was definitely awesome.
KICK-ASS, Rec 2 and delicious crunchie cake from Bakerzin was superbly entertaining.
Haha... I shall give this movie an 8 out of 10. I'm glad love gotta catch it before he sails again.
He really wanted to catch it in theatres.

On a side note, today is 20th.
Which makes YuShaM 38 months old.
Happy 20th hun, imyl!
My poor baby is tired from work, me too actually.
Nights world!

Dear Friend

A close friend lost somone really dear to him yesterday.
Stay strong boy, God loves her more.
Our prayers will always be with her.

Yesterday too, a distant cousin of mine left us forever.
Semoga roh mereka yang telah pergi dicucurih rahmat sentiasa.
Al-fatiha.

Some meeting. =)

We were supposedly having a meeting for our Role of Mentor module activity.
Unfortunately, a series of sidetracking always takes place.
Thursday is last day of school till BOSTON!!
I'm not sure if i'm ready for it.
Somehow, i'm more to scared than excited.
Fear of being so faraway from home.
=(

Well, good night world.

Hungry.

Sham and me already exchanged our good night wishes.
Yet, I was still unable to visit dreamland.
Somehow, chocolates conquered my mind way past midnight.
But since I have to refrain myself from reproducing more pimples on my face, at 2 am in the morning, I just had seaweed and some potato vegetable chips.

While Lin had her biscuit or something.
Dier dah macam cookie monster, belom sempat nak pose dah habes cookie dier.
Tak guner betol.
Btw if you guys realise this chip super act cute tak boleh angss...
Look at how the spelt vegetable at their packaging.
It's spelt, BEGETABLE.
wth.

Thanks you!

I hate the feeling of getting stuck in the center of everything.
Thanks you, for ruining everything.
My life and my love story.
When can you ever stop all these nonsense for once?
I'm getting really tired and drained.
I'm utterly worn out.
Please, spare me.

Syg, why is it I'm so scared of losing the love?

Again&Again.

Yesterday is a bad bad day because we got the news.
His next trip is to Africa.
My heart sank the minute I heard that.
I don't want Monday to come.
Pretty please.

Was supposed to catch a movie with him next week.
But looks like we gotta fast forward the movie date.
So went for a mid-night movie date last night.
Awesome movie, 8.5 out of 10.

Love, I am so going to miss having this at 1am in the morning with one & only you.
We've been through so much these 2 months when your're back, especially what happened today.
I believe, with all these obstacles and challenges we face, it makes us learn to appreaciate each other more.
With all these too, our love blossoms even more stronger. Insyaallah.

To you, you have definitely broken the trust Sham and me had towards you.
Especially me, we are all dissappointed to whatever happened.
Lest did I know, you would result to the decision to resolve everything.
What a great test God have put me through.

Ya Allah, please give me strength, and please I beg of you keep my Sham safe.
I am so worried for him.
I am so in love with him.
Amin.

Overcoming boredom.

This was last night when boredom strikes.

& this was during IT class.
Prevailing another chapter of super ultra greatest boredom.
I shall continue to stone in class.

On a random note, I like these picture taken during our family picnic last valentine day.
Credits to Abg Ayie.
My monyets... aww...
Nak step cool jer mataer aku tu. Haha!
goodbye world.

URGH!

Today is a waste of make-up.
No wonder I was contemplating whether or not to dress up this morning.
What happened was really hurting but what hurt most was the inability to make me feel better.
Not even a little.
I have always thought that to understand is tough, but I guess being understood is far more difficult to comprehend.
I'm not being ignorance, perhaps I need time to pick myself up again.
*pulls hair*

mixfeels

Yep, its always between cyberland fun and the weariness.
That's the exact look i'd give over this issue.
& i'm suppose to frigging U.N.D.E.R.S.T.A.N.D!
All the best Yus!

Lost

I'm falling apart,
I'm weakening

I'm crashing,
I'm exploding

KA BAA BOM!!!

I give up.
I know I can't turn back time so,
Thanks, for the memories.

New Toy

That's my new toy.
But it's disappointing that window 7 starter cannot change desktop wallpaper. =(
Naseb Lin ader kat sebelah tak frustrated sangat aku ni.
Good night world.

My cute papa turn a year older today.
Mcm cute gitu aku ckp a year older. Hahaha!

May God bless him with great health and wealth always.
Stay charming and cute papaku!

On a random note, I have been reading a friend's blog.
Somehow she is in a state in which I am in too.
Those kinds of mixed feelings.
How I wished we could talks things out and share our thoughts.
But oh well, we ain't that close, so it's quite weird to talk about personal stuff with someone not really close with you.
At least not me, I'm not use to sharing my personal matters with just anyone.

A note for this friend, be strong babe.
They are always out to test our patience and limits.

I repeat ALWAYS!

Morning world.

Happy day because...

That's my baby. After all the hard work. It's due today. Today is teacher portfolio interview assessment. Alhumdulilah it went smoothly. I was super nervous that I cannot even sleep soundly last night. When Juliana say that I did a really good job just now, I really felt like hugging her that very minute! Haha... I'm crazy. But hard work was all paid off. I love my teacher portfolio. It's with Juliana now. =(

Met Asyura for the interview. We were both nervous but were as relieved and happy as soon as we are so over and done with the interview. The feeling spells AWESOME!! Then headed for lunch at Sakura. Then off I went for a date with my busted 1! I miss that bacin! wahahahaha!

Then we feel like asking Fana along for dinner. Called her and taa daa, she was at JP! Coolness!! So we had dinner at Fish & Co. Fickled Sharifah as usual. Thanks Sharifah for all your help. I appreciate it. After so long, met Fana again. Miss her la seh, dier ajer tak rindu aku. Hahaha... and I so know she is reading this because apparently she have been reading my blog chori chori chupke chupke. Haha... Thanks my giler girls, I surely had a good night today with non-stop laughter. If only Resh is around then I think I'll definitely pengsan due to excessive laughter outbreak. Hahaha!

Lately, Lin & Me had a hot date too with darling Khai. Had dinner at LJS and then headed to IMM for secret recipe's cakes and Ice-cream, YOU-scream for ICE CREAM! Hahaha...

That's super fattening I know but hell it was just extremely delicious. I promise I'll go for some dieting, when Sham's gone for sailing again maybe... Not now please! Well, kasi chance la happy happy sikit. Lately too, my ladies went shee-sha- ing. But well, no photos. Ain and Wesley was there too. Again, fantastic night. Thanks guys, you guys just rock my day though I was feeling really shitty that day.

Lin sent me that to cheer me up. How sweet can she be right? To Lin, I know at times when I feel really really shitty, I do feel like doing something stupid. Like really stupid! But with you around I know you wouldn't let it happen. Sham owe you a lot for that I guess. Haha... Thanks babe for everything. You are such a dear. Sometimes, I can't imagine my education life without you. It would definitely be horrendously boring. I swear! I really thank God I have you. *hugs*

There's another dear friend of mine that I would like to share that piece of note that Lin had sent me. For umpteen times I know you have been trying to reach me. But I'm sorry, I was just not ready to explain things as yet. Maybe because my mind is still doing a lot and a lot of thinking. I know you care, and I appreciate it so much. No one really care for me as much as you do, not even someone that really meant the world to, no doubt on that. But maybe the changes in our lives makes me fear in confiding in you. Again, I can't really describe why exactly I am having this fear. Everything is just so complicated but I hope you do understand that I am not trying to avoid or shun you away. I appreciate your messages, your effort to reach me but I don't know, something is just stopping me to confide in you like how we use to. As much as I miss those times, I know it can never come back, it breaks my heart yet I know we have to move on with life. Maybe I am just being too overly emotional about this but somehow, I don't want to make it all worst. I love the friendship, I don't wanna lose it ever and I really hope you'd understand. Though nothing much is being delivered to you most of the time. I wished you'd know. I really do.

At the lowest peak of your life at times, your friends had been really great. Sometimes you just can't thank them enough. I have no reason to sulk when they are always there to pick me up each time I fall. I feel so grateful and lucky that I bump into these dearies in my life. I really have to thank God for that.

Indeed life have taught me to be more independent and sensible. Life have been tough with doubts, uncertainty, insecurities, feelings of unworthiness and unappreciated, but I know I have to live with it and I am living with it. I've fallen too deep that I am not able to reach out even with the tallest ladder. Please God, give me the strength to face all these obstacles of yours.

Bye world.

AGAIN!

HE IS SO GOING TO LEAVE ME AGAIN.
I HATE HIS JOB x 1MILLION!!!

Spare me!

I guess I've had enough.
I'm not here to throw you anger at.
Though I may look like a punching bag to you, my size and all,
I'm not literally a punching bag.
So please spare a thought for me.
I may just fall apart anytime soon.

Please give this last few weeks some peace.
Pretty please, I beg of you.
I need those peace, we need those peaceful times again.

Hope for a better day tomorrow.