Yup, most of the time I feel like I am just playing pretend.
Most of the time I feel so happy and excited, NOT.
Actual truth is I am feeling the very opposite of what I've said.
Though I know I am unable to show these feelings in the presence of anybody, I am still unable to run away from this feeling.
Most of the time I feel so happy and excited, NOT.
Actual truth is I am feeling the very opposite of what I've said.
Though I know I am unable to show these feelings in the presence of anybody, I am still unable to run away from this feeling.
Hence, the dramatic play occurs daily for me.
Lately in Boston, I experienced a really terrible break down of my self-esteem.
I am not quite sure myself why it happen, maybe it's just my surrounding, the people around me.
Being me always trying to be a perfectionist, I felt so low due to my incapabilities.
I never shared this with anyone and I sure do feel horrible during those few days being far away from home.
I'm glad I made it through that 5 weeks.
I am not quite sure myself why it happen, maybe it's just my surrounding, the people around me.
Being me always trying to be a perfectionist, I felt so low due to my incapabilities.
I never shared this with anyone and I sure do feel horrible during those few days being far away from home.
I'm glad I made it through that 5 weeks.
As much as possible I am thinking positive.
I have to.
Insya'allah.
I have to.
Insya'allah.
"If you could read my mind, you'd be in tears."
hello girl. i get hw u feel. :) the mask tt u put on to survive on a daily basis. but the insecurities & feeling like some things just don't stack up, like if your gd enough or if u totally fall short in the very things ur passionate abt be it your vocation or the love of your life or being on your own. Feeling cut off from evrything that is so dear, so essential to u. Its heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteHey there,
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your comments. Yea, that's somehow how I'm feeling right now. It's just that I totally suck at words that somehow or rather what I really wanna let out I can't do it here, in words. =(
How heartbreaking it maybe, I hope to stay strong. I'm sure with much patience everything will be all worthwhile. I have faith in HIM. Insyaallah, he'll show me to the right path.
It feels so good at times when someone actually understands how we truly feel. With that, thank you so much. Thanks for dropping by and take care ya. =)