my heart goes hmmm...

This heart starts pounding whenever i'm asked 'that' question. Regardless from sms, msn, e-mail or face- to- face. Well, its the 4th time. Well i really hope i will give him a positive answer but well it takes time. I need time to think if the decision i make is a good one or not. I really have to think about the future. Will i be happy with the decision i make now in future? Will i regret my decisions now in future? A lot of question lingers in my mind whenever he ask me 'that' question. Yet i have to be honest and reply him with a 'NO'. Well, i should not rushed. What's the hurry. True love is not found in just 1 second, 1 day, 1 year or 1 century. So for now i'm not rushing and i want t enjoy life being single. Woo hoo... i wouldn't have this chance in like 3-5 years time because maybe i will reply him a 'YES'. Nobody knows. Ouh well... and guess what i'm such a dumbo!! I truly don't know how to at least say thank you when i'm praised or being flattered by someone especially 'that' person. Hehez... gees. Guess what i feel like saying to him.

'Ok, now i'm shy and i think you should continue flattering me next time.'

Hahahaz... god i'm sick. Hating it yet wanting it. Ok don't ask what i truly mean. Ish!!

Alright while everyone is busy working, i'm not even allowed to go for an interview. So i guess i'm so not seventeen. I'm 7!!! Great isn't it. Gosh, now i so don't know what i will do besides learning how to cook, do inai and when january starts the tuitions. God! I rather study now. I wanna go back to school where i can do lotsa of POA so that if i cannot balance i will get all frustatrated. Hahaz.. at least its challenging. I miss writting malay essay also. Hmm... nt a bad idea to write karangan. Hahaz... haish... i so miss school. I so miss HUA YI!!! How nice if we can turn back time. Times where we cry but still laugh so much. I wanna go back to the yesteryears where there were full of laughters and jokes. Though life have been hectic with schoolwork, it was still fun to have a classroom, own table and chairs and jokers such as nicholas tan kai sheng and stephen kwek xiu wen who never fails to irritate me and crack stupid jokes. I miss them. I miss teasing Vienna with centre parting. Wahaha... i miss my darling Joline. I miss laughing with Sheena because of 'centre parting'. I miss laughing my fellow busted 2 and 3. (sharf and resh) I miss the round table peeps (nurul, farhan and azmi).

I MISS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

Hahaz... tols ya i'm sick. Its well past midnight and here i am missing everyone. Gosh! My heart is going all crazy. Ish! Okay i'm replying everyone's tags here. And again i love all the tags. Thanks peeps for dropping by to tag though it nonsense i still love it. Love ya guys.

Dear Vanessa: Hey my dear Vann, that aaron will get a dush dush from me because he have no time for you. Don't worry, i'll slaughter him for you if you agree with the terms and conditions apply. Wahahaz.... and if that kuku nut sees this i'm so dead. Wahaha!! Anyways Vann i'm so glad to hear from you, stay happy always, take care and ... cheers!! Twees!!

Dear Yi Sheng: Yeah man Harry Potter was indeed a nice show. Maybe beucase i have not been watching the previous movies so i think this one was great. I wonder why some still say it was a let down. It was seriously a nice show.

Dear Madey: That is just exactly what i'm so going to do. Ask my stylist is the best solution.

Dear Naszri: Yeah yeah Harry Potter was awesome. Okay i don't mind watching it AGAIN but you pay!!

Dear Lydia: What?! You cutting your hair? Great! Hahahaz... But i think you look gorgeous with your long hair. But anyways if you cut already show me your new hairstyle arh...jgn lokek. Hahahaz... because its like we will not see each other, so cannot se eyour new hairstyle. Hahaz...

Dear Yingxuann: Heyy girl! I mis you already!! The one who always do POA so bloody fast... dush dush you! Hahahaz.... heyy thanks for the compliment for my blog. Yup i'm doing fine rotting at home. Hahaz... i hope you are doing fine too girl. Twees!!

Dear Farah: Girl, talking about work makes me all frustrated man. Heyy you ever worked in a childcare or something right? How you get i want!! Reply me asap about it yeah?!!

I want to CUT HAIR!!!!....... Lalalala.... i'm getting all crazy each day. See... lalalalallalala....BLUEK!!!!

do fairytales come true?

Can you guys believe it?! I watched Harry Potter the goblet of fire yesterday with my cousin Nas. Kuku him drag me till watch harry potter. Actually intended to watch just like heaven but end up watching harry potter. Finally i watch a movie so long and its not hindustan. It was indeed a long movie. Around 3 hours i think. Not sure but i know long. Overall the movie not bad arh. I still cannot believe myself. YUS watching harry potter? Gosh... can anyone believe it?

I wanna bloody cut my hair to something new. But i got no idea how to. Grr... anyone any idea? and anyone wanna go with me now to cut hair? Haish... such a boring day. Only these hindustan songs and movie can keep me alive for now. Gosh. Hahaz... Yey!! Mere yaar ki shaadi hai today at 9 @ central. I'm so not gonna miss it!

Nas took this and i edit it. Ermm... looks nice! Hahaha...

loved to be loved.

Okay let me settle one by one. First thing i want to reply all the tags in my tagboard. Peeps thanks for at least visiting this nonsense blog of mine. Thanks for tagging. Too many people to reply so i shall answer them here.

dear naszri: heyy too late...eson belik salaam namaste already. Bekna lambat setapak.

dear azri: ouhk...if i'm free i'll come down. no one with cars is available to go out with me for now. my cousin also down with chicken pox. Wahahaz... so cannot go out with him. And another cousin of mine to busy with her mat tahir. Wahaha.... (i think she knows who i'm talking about, and after she read this she would give me a dush dush!) hahaz...

dear Mick: thanks mi for the compliment. anyways who would flatter me more than you do... dush dush... thanks for siding with me. and don't stress so much la. you will get a job soon. don't worry. somebody told me 'always look on the bright side of life'. hahaz... ok before i start to irritae you and make you more stress i better stop. Wahaha....

dear faezah: i can get a free manicure too from my brother's friend sister but its whether i am not lazy to call her and go down to the place or not... wahaha...

dear lydia: hahaz...hindustan is damn nice. i used to hate them because they always sing but only one movie makes me change everything. and now the thing i'm obessed with is not only the movie but also the songs. Woohoo!! Wahaha...

dear farah: yay man!! i can't wait to watch krishh. got my boyfriend inside. got hrithik roshan. Hahahahaz... if out we go watch at wayang arh?...set?...Hahahaz...

Alright done with all the replies. Wahaha... okay so i've watch salaam namaste and so let me rate it. EXCELLENT!! What word is better than excellent arh? MARVELLOUS, FANTASTIC or MAGNIFICENT!! My dil goes hmmm.... Hahaz...

I feel so blessed that i'm loved, cared and appreaciated. I really thank God for it. I am so blessed to have my family, friends, teachers and relatives to support me, care for me, love me and appreaciate what i did. What else can i ask or when i have all the love, care and concern from so many people. I really feel so blessed. Thanks to those who loved me and sorry to those who hate me. I am who i am. I can't change to be what you wanted. I can only change for the better and not for the worst and definately not to what you wanted me to be.

Hahaz... i just feel so blessed. I love these song from Salaam Namaste. Actually i love the meaning of this song only. Here, conerted:

i will always be with you my love.
walking beside you, like the sky above.
in summer's sun, i'll give you my shade
in autumn;s loneliness, i'll be your shadow.
when in doubt, count me in.

with you, i've found life at last.

in a web of joys you cast,

am i discovering all i ever wished for or am i lost?

i will always be with you my love.

walking beside you, like the sky above.

let the sorrow - laden clouds rain on me.

let the despairing moments come to rest on me.

all of your, give to me.

find someone to my heart seemed to say where secrets arent's held,

and all is given away but when i open my eyes will my dream be gone or stay?

i will always be with you my love.

walking beside you, like the sky above.

a sublime love story....

Oh my god! I'm so obsessed with this Barsaat movie. I wanna watch it soooooo badly. In fact i wanna watch so many hindustan movie. Too much but the think is i can't be buying all the CDs at one go. I would go bankrupt. Let me list down the movies i want to watch:

1.Barsaat
2.Salaam Namaste
3.Kyun Ki
4.Shaadi No.1
5.Garam Masal
6.No entry (kuku you reshmel and farhana who have the CD)
7.Parineeta

Okay basically this is at the top of my list for the most WANTED TO WATCH movie... Wahaha!! Anyone, anybody is just soooo sweet enough to get me all this CDs. PLease..... anyone who buy me all this CD, i will do anything for them man!! (depends) Hahahahaz... i'm so nuts. This hindustan all is driving me crazy. Hahahaz....

And guess what i want some manicure badly!! and again who wants to give me for FREE... hehez... Hahaz... eh Haifa Noorin... now i know why you didn't tag me. Hahahaz... mailing is so lame yet interesting. Now i see the joy mailing with somebody so crazy like you also!! Wahaha... i'm looking forward to go shopping with you ok? And if you want to see ANIS QISTINA must tell me arh!! If not... dush dush you!! Okay peeps going out with Sharf to look for hindustan movies. See how obessed i am!! Hahahahaz.... anyone wanna join us?!

its OVER...

Wow...its so unbelievable. Its over. Os is over. And guess what my secondary school have ended. Time flies isn't it? I'm am really going to miss everyone in HuaYi. EVERYONE including the teachers. Seriously. All the fights, all the craps, all the laughter and the 'kenduri' we had beside the toilet during sec 2. Wahaha... miss those days. I'm like officially graduating from Hua Yi. Haiz... so touching! Hahaz... miss the prefect days. Miss the councilors too. Okok stop being so emotional for now. Well Os have kept me real busy these past few weeks. Its driving me nuts. All i did was study study and study. Nothing else. I either study or i either sleep. And the sleep is rather short. I swear now i will sleep like a pig. Yeah to get rid of those panda eye and eye bag. Gosh its so unsightly. Okay so during these few weeks of studying i didn't get to blog much so here i go start to blog as much as i can. Heh heh... enjoy reading.

12th November 2005

Ok a memorable day that i will never forget. Going jln rayer with the sec5 malay peeps. It was fun with the jokes azmi, hanif, zal and the bully norhan. Gosh that norhan arh just can't seem to stop fighting with me. Dush dush!! But norhan after getting to you better you are one funny guy la. And your character is sooo different from your appearence. Hahaz... will miss you bullying me. And hanif and azmi... 'saper nak layan'?!! Hahahahahaz.... oh my god just thinking about it can make me laugh now. It was a memorable time when me, azmi, hanif and ili were laughing non-stop on 198 bus. Oh my god, these guys were sooo funny that ili and me were laughing samapi nak pecah perut. Wahahaha.... 'saper nak layan'?... and ili sorry plan kiter tak menjadi. Next time kiter buat lagik kat si mat mat nie. Hahahaz... and luqman and sydi turn out to be so crazy past midnight. They showed their true colours. Wahaha... they began to be so crazy after midnight. Luqman you were soooo funny. I swear you were. Hahahaz... unexplainable madness. Sydi also. Never seen that sight of them before. Hahaz.. .and azmi you learn something new about your friends. Me , sab and some other girls were kindda upset because this year Candy, pam and reshmel didn't join us. It will sure be more fun with them around. More laughter too. With Reshmel around especially whoever don't start bursting to laughter is so mad! Hahahaz.... Thanks azmi for making me laugh and all throughout the jalan rayer. Sab and shariffah also and everybody laa!! NOrhan thanks for bullying me and bluek azmi is not supporting you! He's still siding with me! Hah!!! Right mi?! (you better say yes else you'll get a dush dush from me) Hahahahahaz....

The picture and the moments that will remain in my heart forever



Studying session

Okay i wanna thank a few people who were very patient with me when teaching me maths and whatever subject. Thanks for all the help. I know i can be very slow and blur at times but it really does helps me. Okay special thanks to Ronald (your present is still with me you kuku head...hahaz), Nisha ( i make a new friend, your cute dog.... i loike! hahaz), ili, Sydi( aku sedar lah aku slalu bully kau but thanks arh! If you happened to read this), Reshmel (you shoould really be a bio teacher man... you rocks my stockings!! hahaz!) and to Kak Salbiah!!!! I love you man. Ouh yar to your friend to kak mira. Is that her name?... hahaz... thanks for taking your time to come down to the library to help me and shariffah! Love you guys. Kak Sal i still remember the swensen deal. But if only i got a B3 which i doubt so i can get. So too bad for you... hahaz!! And special thanks to Shariffah whom i always disturb! Hahahahahaz.... disturb you with all my calls, questions, tolerate my blurness and going study with and teman-ing me go makan and also the CICAKs!! ogh my god i shall not say it anymore it so grossing!! Hahahaz...anyways shariffah you and farhana are my greatest study partner man. Love ya guys. Though we cannot study again together we'll still find time to go out once in a while yah! And to my best friend Sab, though you don't teach or whatever i wanna thank ou for understanding my situation. I can't go anywhere and all because of these stupid exams. So sorry but will be ble to accompany you anywhere now if i'm free. Ok best friend? Luv ya many many! To Pam... thanks for all the help in POA and science. Love your home! So cormfy and looking forward to come your home not to study but to play volleyball with ya? Ok gurl?! Hahahaz.... phew so many people. If i ever missed out anyone i'm soooo sorry. My brain is not functioning well now because i'm kindda sleepy. Hahahaz...so to whoever i missed thanks to you man! You guys rock! Hahahaz...

Kak Sal teaching me...twees!



and we are sick of studying...Wahahaha....we d stupid stuff like this...



Got spiderman...hahaz...kak sal say one..i'm impressed!!


















Okay this part is for MUHAMMAD FAIZAL!!!!!! HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! Finally your 17. What? think i forget is it?! I'm a good friend okay i remember my friend's birthday. Hahaz... hapy birthday awak... hope you are blessed with good health always and may all wishes come true. Especially to get you dream girl (chori chori chupke chupke one) hahahahaz.... !! Thanks for being a great friend who never fails to make me laugh and smile. I hope we'll always stay in contact yah... and i can NEVER forget the time during mid year where you kuku nut go and come my house early in the morning when you can go sleep to send me to school for my poa mid yr exam. You're sweet. Thanks yah! Thanks for being there for me all these while also. Sorry if ever hurt you or make you angry in any way. Hope you pass your O level with flying colours and achieve your goals. I like this picture lah but i know you don't because of your hair...Wahaha....












And to people whom i haven't mintak maaf during the hari raya outing i i wanna say Selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin. Yus tak pandai bermain kata hanya ingin meminta ampun dan maaf dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki jika yus pernah menyinggung hati atau terkasar bahasa sepanjang kenalan kiter. Lagi syawal aper so still can bermaaf-maafan. Belum terlambat. Wahahaha.... Because to people like shazz i was really speechless when you wanna salam me and mintak maaf with me. I was shocked don't know what to say. Wahaha... sorry yah!

Phew..long enough right? Phew... ok tired already shall stop here. Yay! change layout finally! So sick of my previous monkey first! Hahahaz.... twees!

battle coming to an end!

One more paper that is tommorrow and that's it i''m going to sleep like a pig to get rid of those panda eyes. I swear those panda eyes is showing.... GOSH! Damn the Os... make me look ugly and more ugly. Actually i thought of sleeping now before i start studying chemistry and biology again because the whether is just so nice for me to have my beauty sleep. But i don't know why i have the urge to blog. I miss blogging actually. Didn't have to blog properly like how seri do. Hahahaz... she have such long entry and i'm so jealous because i have no time to blog. Alright i'm so insane to compare blog entry's length now. Wahaha... all these studying have drive me nuts. So guys beware around me i tend to be more crazy than i ever have been. The symptons is already showing. I think Shariffah is getting the hang of it.

Talking of Shariffah this reminds me of yesterday when i went studying with Resh and Sharf. This happened at night. All the yucky slimy lizards started to appear. It so freaks me out. Alright i shall label lizrads as my second fearest animals on earth. Mice or mouse or whatever is stil the top of the list. Yucks and its so embarrassing that i have to shift my place here and there. What was most embarrassing was my my use to be 'never smile guy' walk pass me when i was freaking out because of those stupid lizards. Oh my god i was so paise and no words can describe how embarrassed i was. Ish... Sharifah thank god your father came at that time and so we went for dinner instead of sitting there becuase i can't continue studying as my eyes can't resisit looking at which direction the lizards is going. What fears me was if it drops. Pyak! on the table then die! Wahahaz... the attacks of the lizards!

And yesterday was such an irritating day. I didn't know guys can be such a parasite. One asking for my phone number, another wanting to 'kenal2' and haiya irriatating people on earth is them man. Hahaz... Ok azmi wants me to talk bout him but i' m sorry mi i don't know what to sweet talk with you here.... Wahahahahaz!! Ouh yah... Azmi u won the bon jovi CD... Hahahaz... Not fair not fair ....HAH!! Dush dush! Hahaz...

Ok i'm off! Either to sleep or chat with azmi for a while or start opening this friggin books about stupid science. Grr.... tats it! BYE!

*&^%$@&$%#$!*($&@(

Alright everything around sux so much right now. The Os, the people who are like hiding stuff behind me and just EVERYTHING!!!!!!! Suddenly i'm so sick and tired of my life. God!

And yesterday i told HIM that i don't want him to wait. I decided to tell him that. I don't want to be such a sellfish bitch to ask a guy to wait for you. Wait till when? I don't know! So i asked him not to wait. Well i still like him though but i shall not ask him to wait for me. I rether hurt him now rather than hurting him after he wait for me. We are not together yet i feel the loss! I never felt this way before in my entire 17 years of my life. Well maybe that's life. Full of ups and downs. We never know what is in store for us in future. I hope its something nicer than all this. All i hope is that he can find a better girl than me and being happy with her. But what i'm really worried right now is he's health. No words can describe how worried i am for his health. But who am i for him to listen to me and not start to smoke again. I'm just nobody to him. But i really hope he will not start smoking again.

In no mood for anything now! I wanna be alone! SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's hard to say that i was wrong

it's hard to say i miss you
since you've been gone it's not the same

a few more for the struggle...

Maths was okay. It is my first that i am not rushing for maths and i still have time to do. I shall not say it was an easy or hard paper. It was average. Alright fullstop i don't wanna talk about exams. Once the results is out we'll all know how i fair in it. Anyways i want to say a special thank you to KAK SAL for helping me out with my maths and i don't know what's her friend's name i think kak mira or something... hahaz... sorry i totally forgot her name. Thanks the both of you for helpinh Shariffah and me with that idiotic maths. I totally enjoy the day with that stupid pictures we took kak sal... hahaz... alright just let the pictures do the talking...

http://examstrikes.MyPicGallery.com

I am really looking forwrd to 22nd November!!! Can't wait for this frustrating examinations to end! Studied maths with yisheng, faezah, ili, norhan, faizal, sydi and luqman too. Did i left out anyone?.... anyways thanks sydi for all the teachings and tolerating with my stupidity and blurness. ili also and faezah also... thanks! And faezah... that person is sooooooo 1000000000times funny man... terbayang aku that funny thing on his head. Just what was that man? Strange people do exist in public places. Wahaha!!

Happy advance birthday to my dearest friend PAM!!!! Finally your 7-teen! Hope you like the present i gave you. That's is all i afford to buy you. May all wishes come true and may COEXISTENCE makes your birthday even more merrier just nw! Sorry i can't stay... hahahaz!!

Once again HAPPY 7-teen BIRTHDAY PAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The End Of Me

Is it the end of me yet? Was so pissed when the first answer is already a confirm wrong. I did study like crazy for Chem yet i think i can't make it. Yep i can do it but not all of them. Its like i can even get a wrong for an easy question like question 1! How frustrating. I can forget about going poly. I have to be prepared to face everyone that i'm going to dissappoint.

Kill me, shoot me, bang me or just do whatever you want with me right now. I'm feel so lousy and useless. Just what's the point of studying. And Maths... i can do it but i have a very very very HUGE, as HUGE as this word's size, feeling that my carelessness is going to kill me. O level suck to the core man! Maths and science are like what, the most important subject to even enter ITE. And hell ya who knows i can't even get into ITE!!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate this. Its ruining my life!! Totally!!!!

Goodbye poly! Goodbye early childhood!

That's it i've had enough!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

"Berlalulah sudah Ramadhan sebulan berpuasa. Kini Syawal kita rayakan dengan rasa gembira."

Yay!! Its Hari Raya. To all my muslin friend. Yus ingin menyusun 10 jari jemari momhon ampun dan maaf jika Yus pernah tersilap kata, kasar bahasa atau pernah menyinggung hati awak awak semua. Yus harap semua dapat menerima kemaafan yus sempena hari raya yang penuh keriangan ini. Hehez... i never blogged in malay... seems nice!

Alright... assalamualaikum... woo hoo!!

yey yey besok hari raya!

Yay! Besok Hari Raya! Besok raya!

Isn't it fast? I just feel like i only start fasting yesterday but actually its already a month that we fast. Ramadhan has come to and end and tommorrow we all will celebrate Hari Raya. Wow... fast fast. Heyy look at the time. Its the last sahur. Hahaz... just sahur just now and feel like blogging since its the last day of puase.

Its deepavali yesterday... to all my indian friends... happy belated deepavali to you. Wahaha!! And to all my muslin friends, Selamat hari Raya!! Maaf Zahir dan batin. Semoga raya awak awak semua nie still gerek though we are having our Os. Okay?!

I'm kindda sleepy. Slept late last night and have to wake up early later Nisha's coming for maths. I never in my life study on the eve of Hari Raya. I either clean the house, help my mum with the cooking or i'll do stupid stuff like disturbing my mum and dad who is busy with thier work. Hahaz... this yaer they don't see that of me because i'm too busy with that stupid maths. Grr... alright then last but not least before i go....

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR RONALD!!
FINALLY 16!! Hahaz....

Ehh dah imsak...hmm....forget to drink a bit of root beer just now...hmm....

when the going gets tough...

I SOOOOOOO Love Nisha & Ronald now!!

Hahaz... since Ronald is my hero now, Nisha is my heroine. Hahaz... because Nisha also saved me from all the confusion for maths just now. Thanks a lot Nisha. Love ya many many. Hahaz...

And i relised that its only 2 days more to HARI RAYA. I have always been very excited for it. Excited to clean house and especially my room but this year mood is totally zer0!! Hahaz.. yeah its the exam season and so to haa haa hee hee here and there is scary because who knows will end up crying or what. Anyways, some people understand but some people don't. Anyways 6 more days to Os... How How?!

Alright this will be the first year i'm celebrating hari raya without playing 'bunga api'!!Not fair...

Ultimate task to be completed before hari raya:
TRANSFORM ROOM FROM A PIG STY TO A PRINCESS DORM!!!!

Twees!!!

I SOOOO LUV RONALD!!!!!!!

Oi don't get the wrong idea la deyy!! To anyone who is having a crush on Ronald or whatever, don worry he's still yours but when it comes to maths, he's mine!! Wahahahaha!!! He's my hero now!! Hahaz... finally somebody teach me maths!! And that's why i luv Ronald now. Hahaz... you guys arh always jump to conclusion! Thanks so much man Ronald. You save me from being all confuse with all the maths questions. I appreaciate it a lot. Thanks buddy! Thanks for being soooo sooooo patient with me. I don't know how to thank you already. Hahaz... ok lets say if i at least got a B3 for maths i will treat you to lunch ok?! Set?! Hahahaz...

Alright maths is settle. Not really actually because i have a lot to practice though. Now i still have biology, chemistry, social studies, history and the subject that i'm slacking now.... ENGLISH!! I'm so dead. Ok peeps i'm off!!

**Thanks a bunch to my dear Ronald!! Twees**

*pulling hair*

AHH!!!!

I can see that people are all counting down to hari Raya. But for me i'm counting down to O Level!! Its like bloody 9 days more!! 9 DAYS!!!!! WTH!!!! Isn't that soooo damn bloody fast! I don't know why all of a sudden i feel so demoralized. Its like as though i can't do the papers on November later! Haiz... Com'on Yus you can do it!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in desperate need of someone to help me with MATHS!! Everybody is so busy and i just feel like bursting when i can't do all the maths questions! Maths is in another 9 more days and what the heck i can't do the questions?!... Am i nuts or what? How the fuck can i even make it for my Os. And english?! I think i'm slacking. No practice at all!

What am i suppose to do. I'm really going to let so many people down!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That really fears me upside down man! Mr Amran and my parents... i'm sorry i'm gonna let you down but i'm really trying my best now! Wish me luck...

happy times come and go...

I received a shocking news as soon as i reached school just now. The news of Mrs. Kong is leaving Hua Yi today. That makes her last day in Hua Yi. I'm so gonna miss her. Students never fail to hate their principal. But for me i love my principal because she's great. No doubt she can be naggy at times but well she cares. You wouldn't want a principal who wouldn't take things seriously and go haha hehe all the day right?... Hahahaz... Time really flies and it has already been 5 years i'm in Hua Yi and when i'm graduating our principal have to go. Then next year if we were to come back and visit Hua Yi, the new principal would be like... shoo shoo... then die! Hahaz... anyways i'm just gonna miss Mrs Kong la! The Ferraro Rocher that she always give me. The sweets and all! Looking at everyone just now, i don't think i'm the only one who will miss Mrs Kong. Hahaz... even Reshmel said she will miss Mrs Kong. Hahaz... indeed Mrs Kong is a great principal. Here's a picture taken during Prom Night 2004.



I love Mrs Kong!
I love Hua Yi!
I love Hua Yians!
I love 5N3!
I love my Coucillors!
I love my TEACHERS who taught me!
Going to MISS everyone!!!!!!!!

liar liar love's on fire!

Alright don jump to conclusion. I'm not in love or whatsoever. I am just obsessed with this bollywood movie, Maine Pyar Kyun Kiya! Hahaz... It is a nice movie. Some funny show i should say. And the girl in this movie is like wow!! Dead Gorgeous. Katrina Kaif, Salman Khan's girlfriend!! God, i so love her. Wish i could be as pretty as her. Look how gorgeous she is man!



The Miss Universe Sushmita Sen is pretty too but i love Katrina Kaif more!!



Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya!!!



Hahaz... obsession kills!! One of the song is like so whoah!!! I likE!!!

Anyways moving on, got i have never been this busy before. Loads of studying and revising to be done. Loads of thinking have to be done. I'm so tired and exhausted. Moreover i think the bronchitis attack is coming back. Ahh... i have been coughing none stop lately. I don't see the need to even eat to breakfast because after eating i would just throw up. God! I hate it! I can't eat chicken and fruits again!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!

I so hate being sick!!! The feeling sux!!And my parents and bro have been bugging me to go doctor because i run out of medicine and my spray but NO!!!!!!!!! Going doctor is the last thing i would do. I don't want to put on that stupid gas. It sux!!

MEDICINE SUX TO BE EATEN!! I"M NOT GOING DOCTOR!!!

Alright i think i have to start doing history. Else tommorrow i will get present from Ms Lui and for some reason the present is not liked by any history students... sheeshh!!

why must all this have to happen?...

I'm not the type who will go obsess over a guy. To me its useless to because whenever you like that someone he will never like us in return. Eversince i gotta a blog. I have never blogged anything about guys. As in how cute a guy is, how i have a crush on this particular guy or how this guy wants me to be his girlfriend. To me it just a waste of time blogging about them. Not worth it. But today i don't know why i want to share a story and it got something to do with a guy.

There's this girl who once thinks that love is just so stupid. Love is nothing but something that really hurt most. She totally don't believe in love. Even now she still believe that true love does not exist. Maybe incidents happening around her make her believe that guys can only love a girl for only a short period of time and not forever while girls can only love only one person in her life. But she believe that not all guys are like that because if all guys are like that than her father will not exist. Her father is just way too good of a husband and father that she hopes somebody if someone were to show her what is love she would want a guy who is as good as her father.

Her family is everything to her. As she is the only daughter, she is pampered and showered with so much love from her parents and brother. Her parents have high hopes for her to enter to a poly at least and to become a teacher in future. She love her parents too much that she fears of dissappointing them. She is never good at lying and she can never lie to them. To her, she can never be blessed by lying to her own parents. Her parents forbid her to have any special relationship at her age now because it will only affect her studies. Her mum always remind her not to fall for a guy sweet words. She is always adviced to find a better half to be with. A responsible and honest one would make a good partner, said her mum.

In school she never dared to be in a relationship. Like her other friends who have boyfriends, she fear that by having one she might only break her parents trust for her. Therefore, how big a crush she had towards a guy, she never want it to be a serious one. One day she realised that she had a crush on this guy who was her classmate but then she realised that one of her best friend too had a crush on him. She remained silent untill after a few years that guy confessed to her his feelings for her for the past 4 years. She never thought it was true. It seems more of a joke to her but it was true. She then decided to confess to him her feelings towards him. Since this is the last year they will be in the same school. Like any other guy would do, he asked her to be his girlfriend but was rejected because she realised her situation she is in. She realised that she definately can't be in a relationship when she have to sit for her most important exam and most importantly she can't lie to her parents. Never would she have the heart to do it. Thus she explained to him how her situation is and so they guy respected and insist that she waits for her till she's ready.

As days goes by she realised that untill when would the guy wait for her. She realised that it will be so sellfish of her if she were to asked the guy to wait when he can go for any other girl. Hence, she was honest with the guy and told him to not wait and instead find someone else to like. She fears of huting him and so its better for her to tell him now than later. He insisted on waiting for her.

One night the guy asked her if she really want him to wait or not to wait for her. Again she explained to him of her situation and try to make him understand. To her it tough to let him go but its tougher to let him wait. It breaks her heart to break his. But she have to be honest that her priority now is studying to make her parents happy. She would sacrfice anything to make her parents happy. Thus its important for her not to be involve in a relationship yet. And she realised that she herself is not ready to be in a relationship and that she needs time. It definately breaks the guys heart to hear all this but she have no ther way. She does not want to give him more hope so she have to be honest and tell him not to wait for her as it will be a waste of time. As much as she likes him she have to say it though its hurting enough. No one can understand what is her situation is like. Not even him. The guy was terribly sad but she felt worst. She don't want other to say that she is only making use of him by asking him to wait. So she wants him to be just friends and not more than that.

She hopes that the he would find a better girl than her. She hopes that he is blessed with good health always. It hurts her to see him hurt and she hopes to see him happy always. All she hopes now is to make her parents proud. She does not know what is love. And if this is called love and that she have already fallen in love then they will surely meet and be together. Not now, not tommorrow but some other time when they know what is the true meaning of love and life. No one can understand how she feels right now. For now she is just concentrating on her studies and hope that future will awaits her with something better.

The end!

Hua Yi's 2005 Graduation Ceremony

Today was awesome. Had so much tear and laughter. I'm so gonna miss Hua Yi and my friends. It is sad to leve Hua Yi but i'm sure the sweet memories in Hua Yi will make me smile whenever i'm down. Especially to 5N3, i love you guys so much! To Mr. Lee and my dear councillors too. You rock! To my malay class, say sayang kamu! Hahahaz... Alright why not i let the pictures do the talking! Hahaz... there...

http://hyssgraduation.mypicgallery.com/?t=1

I'm a step ahead to being a young mature adult. Goodbye all childishness. (maybe a lil though!)... hahaz... haiz... i'm so gonna miss Hua Yi!! Sob sob... after school i stayed back with Sab, Azmi, Farhana, Diyana and Shriffah. And then after azmi left i went up to the library and there we did lotsa stupid things. Laughed so much that my stomach almost burst! Hahaz... my camera had to die that moment. Low batt so took pictures with my handphone. I so love my new phone. The pictures were all so clear and it turned out nice. There is this picture where me, sab, farhana, shariffah and diyana took it was soooo nice. I adjusted the effects to like the oldies sortta and it turned out fantastic! I LIKE!! Thanks to mdm Line who snap the photo for us. Hehez... Once my USB cable can be used i will upload it to my com. Hahaz... i took stupid pictures with Diyana and they bears in the library. Wahaha!! Couldn't stop laughing even by thinking about it.

Whoah it was just so fun! Its been a long time since we last stayed back in school and laughed so much. I missed all that. Thanks to Sab, Farhana, Diyana, Shariffah, ili (for shouting without signal...hahaz!!) and azmi for all the fun! I enjoyed myself so much. To think this will be the last it just brought me to tears... haish... gonna miss al these terribly! Love ya guys loads man! You guys made my day!!

Ok... last words for the day!

I LOVE HUA YI! I LOVE MRS KONG! I LOVE MY TEACHERS! AND THE MOST IMPORTANT IS I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!

Friggin Pissed!!

Everything sux this year!

Ok just two words to sum up my mood and to sum up how sux today is!!

!!!!PRACTICAL SUX!!!!

i'm off....

exploding any moment

Great...

Science practical tommorrow. I am so dead. I don't wanna break test tube! I'm so scared. I'm so nervous. I'm so scared. I'm so nervous. What should i do?! Oh god please help me!!

How How... i don't know shit for chemistry. And for biology. If it does not come out fruit then i'm dead for sure! Haish... exams are so much better without 'Practical'!!

Ahhh.... please let a miracle happened tommorrow. Please let me leave that laboratory with a wide smile. Please please please!! Arghh...

Ouhk i shall not say anything, else i'll get more and all tense.

So YUS all the best!!

Wishlist for tommorrow:
-Can light up bunsen Burner
- **!!Don't break any test tube for once!!**
- wish i can answer all the question.
- Chemistry will not come out anything on rate of reaction!!

BALANCE!!

Can you guys believe it?! I was actually doing POA and i balance evrything and i found the right net profit!! Woo hoo... so happy! I'm suppose to start on maths now but don feel like it lei! Haish... maths... for some reason every subject sucks now except for malay of course and POA. English, maths, social studies, history and the super ULTRA hatest subject for me, SCIENCE!! Argh... i can never score for them. So anyone out there care to share some of your knowledge with me?!

Alright, i got no idea what else to say. So i'm going to end here and force myself to bloody study for science practical now at least. Not in a mood to study maths. So peeps i'm off!!...

**i sooo love my SAMSUNG E730...lalalalala!!**

WeeEEEeeEEEee....

Samsung E730! Finally i decided not to use NOKIA anymore. The pattern was niceand the function are great! I LIKE!! Hahaz... but whatever it is, i still mis my beloved 7260. I love it so much. The 7260 box in my room will remain and i will never throw them away nomatter what. I so love that Nokia 7260. It means a lot to me and that arsehole have to take it away from me. Haish... you are so mean and cruel! Anyways, thanks so much to my bro. He's the one who bought me my new handphone. So basically this entry is goes out to my beloved bro who bought me that handphone!! I love you many many bro!! Muakez....

Complicated...

Feel so exhausted after all those mugging for the past 2 days. Never felt this complicated before. Question, questions and more questions keeps whirling my mind. Wish i could read people's heart. That would make things less complicated.

Ahhhhhhh................

Whatever... sometimes things are better off unsaid...

**The look tells it all**

Just finish studying bio but has yet to finish the whole chapters of course. Hahaz... but ouh well. Managed to do some POA, Maths and Bio today. Not forgetting i get some sleep. This will prevent me from having those ugly panda eyes. Else Hari Raya i will look more like a ghost.

Laugh so much today in school. Thanks to Stephen and farhan and Joline. Joline was so funny when she actually told us what she saw in the bus. She look so cute and adorable. Feel like pinching her cheeks. Hahaz... so nice to have such a cute girlfriend. Hahaz... people pls stop tat jealousy. Hahaz... Joline is mine. Opps... if my darling Jia Qi read this i'm dead. Hahahahaha... Anyways its nice today. Laugh around with Stephen and we broke the recored of not fighting with each other throughout the day. Hahahaz... maybe because of the 'Entry Proof'. Thanks for the advice Stephen about the 'pampered thingy'. Hahaz... so funny talking with you in that tone. Hahahaz... anws you rock my day la!! I played this stupid 'eye string' game with steve just now. As usual i can NEVER win because i'll end up laughing. Thanks Stephen. How the heck you can tahan not luaghing man looking at me or my eyes or whatever. Hahahaz...

POA was like kindda rush. I don't know why but i think i'm beginning to like. Errm... whats that word. Can't catch up?... Ahh... not now man! Not when its like only 27 days to Os!! I don't know how to start studying my chem! MR LEE and PAM!!! I need your help... DESPERATELY!!! Haish!! Who is so kind to like come to my rescue and coach me all the way man! Isn't it nice to have a genius in front of you and in a blink of an eye you will be a genius! WOW!!! Ouhk dream on Yus!!

Farhana is soooo kuku!! Hahahaz... you make me melt with all those so soothing and nice music. You know what i'm talking about. Hahaz... Twees! Alright i need to get some sleep else can't wake up for sahur in like another 5+ hours. So twees....

Too much on the list...

Never knew that wearing conatact lenses is this tough. My shaky hands adds on to the difficulty wearing those lenses. Ouh well! Spects broke and i need them for science practical later else the goggles can never stay in place. Thanks bro for the lenses. Had a sumptuos meal at Long John Silver! Hahaz... i break fast at Long John just now because i was looking at Faezah's pictures at her blog. She and the rest had Long John on Friday when they went to watch Stephen's gigg. It was a temptation looking at those fries. So told mama, papa and bro to have dinner at Long John Silver! And now i'm as bloated as a... alright i can't think of a nice word to match with that phrase. Hahahaz... ouh well!!

God! My worksheets are pilling real bad. So many things to finish up!! Don't believe me look at the list!!

English:

1. Comprehension

Mathematics:

1. Newtown Paper 2

2. Kranji Paper 2

3. Bukit Panjang Government high Paper 2

4. Nan Hua Paper 2
5. Cedar Girls Paper 1 & 2
6.Tanglin Paper 2

Biology:

1. Practical Paper
2.November Paper 2002

Chemistry:
1.Xin Min Paper

Principles of Accounts:
1. ACS Prelims Paper
2. Bartley Paper
3. Bedok Green
4. Bendemeer Paper
5. Bukit Panjang Government High Paper

6. Deyi Paper
7. St Anthony Paper
8. Serangoon Prelim Paper

History:
1. Prelim Paper Question 5 stryctured essay
2. Prelim Souce based
3. New notes (worksheet given)


AHHH!!!!!!! I'm sooo dead!!! And i have yet to finish up my revison in my ten years series. *faints* Im off peeps!!

Its hard to say...

Till now the culprit has yet to find out. I think we'll never going to know which coward has done something so stupid like that. Ouh well. Just my luck to have such friends. Anyways, this has already ruin my birthday this year but most importantly i don't want to ruin my O level just thinking about it. I had enough. No doubt i'm upset and all about this. Who wouldn't. But i'm going to face every of my friend bravely in school and continue to work hard for my upcoming Os. Its hard to say though. Sometimes i can't help from thinking about it. Especially when i'm alone and when the thought the person who stole your phone is actually right in front of you. Just one of them and the one i treasure as 'friends'.

Haish before i got all emotional about it i better stop. I got to concentrate on more other things in my life right now. But whatever it is i can never ever forget this very incident that happened to me on 1st October 2005. Moving on, i jst came home from school and i played frisbee just now. Hahahaz... i don't care how sleepy or thirsty i was but i played. Hahahaz.... it was fun but i played for like just a while. At first the guys makes me all scared to play but the temptation was s high that i decided to sub Gab. Hahaz... Well between guys there sure fights here and there. BUt not a major one. It normal in a game. Hahaz... I heard the next match was with 4E5. Hmm... not bad... looking forward for it. And yesterday played floorball with Ms Lui and Mrs Tan (Siew Ngo... hahaz!) and not forgetting the girls. It was fun but wow it was a hot day though. Then again the temptation was too high and so Shariffah and me played for like an hour or so and then went to buy food for our break fast and then continue studying during night studying. What a day though. I never fell asleep while doing my work. But for some reasons, i amazingly fell asleep just now while doing maths in the canteen. Oh God! It was a hot day and played soccer during PE so guess was very tired. Hahaz...

So yeah here i am at home. Blogging. I wasn't really in a mood to blog that past few days. Mood is totally zer0! Haish... Practical is just 2 weeks away. I'm so dead. So going to break test-tube. I so don't know shit about chemistry. Biology is understandable but chemistry... GOSH!! Anyways... Os is in like 32 more days and i still have loads to catch up. Worksheets are piling and revision has yet to finish. I'm like so very dead and so not in a mood for Hari Raya. Ouh well... Haish i really don't know how bad i'm going to perform for my Os. I can't imagine how many people i'm going to dissappoint. Haish!! Life is sooo much better without exams. Or better..s life is sooo much better if studying don't exist! Arggh....

Things had been really stressing me in school. And knowing me i don't really like to share all of my problems to people. So i think i really need to be strong to face all the problems in life. What if life without problems. Like Azmi always say, always look on the bright side of life. So yeah... my aim now is just to study and really do my best for the Os. That's it at the moment. I don't think i have time for anything else. I'm like watching Romance the Amour 3 at channel 8. Yeah a repeat. But who cares its a fantastic show. And so cute the guy actually gave the girl a ring and he said that its not an engagement ring, not a wedding ring but a promise ring. Awww.... so touching... so romantic right. Ish... anyways ouhk i don't want to be disturbed. Want to watch and imagine if i were to be that girl. Sure faint... hahahaz!!~

**It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone .....but it takes a LIFETIME to FORGET someone.**

Nobody wants this...

Alright... 3 worst things had ever happened to me on my birthday!!!
1. I lost my hp! Yes my beloved 7260!!
2. I found out that its one of my friend who came for my party!!
3. I have the worst birthday ever!!

Whoever you are. I really don't know whats your motive. So much for the trust and friendship for 5 years. I made a big mistake by trusting you seriously. I thought its ok to trust someone we call 'friend'. I'm sorry guys if i'm starting to not trust anyone now. I learnt my lesson and i don't wanna repeat my mistake ever! Thanks for coming to my house guys on saturday and to that person thanks for ruining my birthday and the party. To have the heart to do that to a friend, i'm sorry to say i don't know why you deserve such nice friends like the i have. I am so bloody dissappointed. I love the phone so much and you got ta snatch it anway from me. I hope you wouldn't snatch anyone else happiness in future because it will not be nice. I am full of dissappointment. FULL!! That i think i don have anymore space for it. Nobody ever make me so much on my birthday but you do! What else do you want to do to this friend of yours. If you even consider me as one. But i know i do! Thanks for everything and making my life hell now. Thanks so much. Just a curious question to you who took my phone INTENTIONALY if you happened to have internet and read my blog.... what if this happen to you? Can you tell me how you would feel and how you would react?

I already had the worst birthday ever. I don't wish to talk about it. It hurts me more. I never blogged with so much tears. Haiz... thanks people for all the presents. I love them. To people who have always been there for me! Because of you , i can laugh and smile in school just now. People like Azmi, Stephen, Nick, Farhan, Yi Sheng, Norhan, Nurul, Shariffah, Reshmel, Pam, Mr Lee and more and more and more and the list keeps going. Sorry to people whom i didn't mention your name. You know who you are. I really thank you! You guys make my day! Thanks too. Sorry pam to trouble you with all the messages to the kuku-bird. And to you kuku bird thanks a lot. I really really really appreaciate everything that you have done for me that i don't know how more to thank you! I so love you man... thanks once again for troubling you. You are just the best! Special special thanks to you, Mr Lee! I'm off enjoying a few more moments of my worst birthday, 4th October 2005!

the misture of feelings

I am so exhausted. I feel so tired. I feel so happy. I feel so worried. I feel so sad. I feel so blessed. I feel s guilty. I feel like screaming. I feel like crying. I feel like laughing. That the mixture of feelings i have right now. Don't ask me why because i don't know! Well, just finished watching my all time favourite malay love story, Suara Kekasih. Oh my god! Its a damn bloody touching movie. I so love this love story man! But for some reasons i think no guy would love the girl like this guy in the movie. Crazy in love. Hahahaz! But ouh well, nobody knows. I am so in love with each and every song from the movie. The lyrics are so nice. Alright O level is in like less than 37 days so yeah no time to really update this blog. The books need me or rather i need the books. So i have to really start mugging. Alright this ulcer on my tongue and lips are really killing me. I can hardly eat... Damn!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Senandung Duka

Kala kita bersama

Dunia berseri

Manis ooo manisnya

Cinta didada bersemi

Hari yang ku lalui

Indah penuh makna

Hati ini bernyanyi

Lagu tentang cinta

( korus )

Tapi kini kau pergi

Membawa mimpi ku

Meragut cinta ku
Merobek angan kuSirna segalanya

Musnah semuanya

Ku hanyut di kesepian

Hari berganti hariKu tetap sendiri

Namun dihati ini

Cinta mu tetap bersemi ( 2X )

( ulang korus )

Hidup ku terasa sepi

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Kisah Cinta

Ini sebuah kisah cinta

Dari sekuntum bunga sekeping hati

Dua jiwa dalam hayalan

Berat rasa untuk berpisah

Dua dunia satu mimpi

Satu cita dalam satu hati

Terjerat dalam permainan hidup

Terkandas dalam cinta terhalang

Mengapa dunia

Kejam pada mereka yang bercinta

Mengapa bercinta

Harus ada saja perpisahan

Kisah cinta berakhir

Dengan penuhharapan

Kisah cinta berakhir

Dengan penuh ratapan

Kisah cinta...

------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll be just fine!

Results had always been atrocious! Sux man! Was indeed shocked to even get third for english! Amazing to beat some other clever people in 5N3. Haiya... nonsense la! Its like when i studied like mad, an example, mid year. I did so badly for like all paper. Now that i don really study much for prelims i get all that. Isn't that crappy enough?! Gosh... Whatever. But i was kind of dissappointed with my biology marks. I studied so hard for it but i still can't make it. I even went studying with Shariffah and we really do studied like crazy people. But ouh well just look at the marks. Whatever man... so sick of it! Arggh!! But i was proud of my History, not only cuz i top the class but i think my hard work in it really paid off. I spent a lot of time for history. Studied like mad and have to see ms lui everyday after school. Thanks Ms Lui for all your help and spending your busy time to sit down and teach me the chapters taht i totally have no idea at. Your the best teacher man!!

Well, all this does not matter actually. Because all these marks are not even counted for O level. The most is important thing is if i can still improve and get good grades for the real upcoming Os! Haish... its so tough man. I doubt i can even make it to ITE. Mr. Amran talked to me just now and he said something that i really felt like crying. He said that if he will be the first person to be dissapointed if i cannot get into a poly because he believe that my place is not in ITE but a higher institutes. Oh my god, i was so touched that he actually have faith in me and also i fear that i would really dissappoint him. Whta if i do dissappoint the people around me. My parents, bro and Mr. Amran! Ahhh... how can i face them?... I am so scared!!! There's a lot of " What ifs"!! Haish... oh GOD pleaseeee help me!!!

Ouh well no use dwelling over it. All i can do now is really put my butts down an start studying. Nothing else to do and there's no time to lose! It s like only 40 days to O level YUS! Wake up!!! alright people i'm off. Not in a mood to blog more...

Fate changes everything

My commie is still in ICU. Not back yet. But i'm blogging with the help of my cousins laptop. Its more like mine now because she don't know shit about it. Hahahaz! But i still miss my commie. My hindi songs especially. Sorry Aaron, my com have to crash after you downloaded for me all those songs. Sorry sorry sorry.

Ouh Well. One whole. I did not lay a finger at any of my books. I'm so relax like as if there's no O level happening or something. Yus Yus. You are so dead. But i don't kknow what happened to me that Friday. I studied Social Studies. Merger and separation. It is an easy chapter for you guys out there but ouh well. I know nothing about me. Trust me. But i managed to understand now. Haiz... i am so dead. Gonna really study starting from 3rd October. Hahahaz. Next week still not in a mood yet. Twees!

I went Wild Wild Wet that last Saturday when my com crash. Took pictures. Will upload the pics as soon as my com is well. I did not swim because it will so boring swimming with only my dad and nini. Moreover i'm scared of sunburn. The weather was so hot and warm. It was seriously hot. Noone could imagine how bored i was the whole week. Without my com and when this laptop is not with me yet. Haiz... and i am really turning crazy this whole week. Not only because of the com but my own emotions. My emotions had really drive me nuts. I don't know what is up with. Totally! Never had this kind of feeling. NEVER! So far I shared it with Sab, Aaron, Shariffah and Farhana. Guys i'm so sorry to pollute your ears with whatever i said. But i really feel like sharing with you guys because who lknows you guys might have experience it before. And i really anna thanks PAM!!! You make my day girl! Thanks for listening to me and my crap. Thanks for all the advices. ANd most importantly thanks for being such a great friend that sometimes i think you don't deserve me as your friend. I'm just so not a good friend! Thanks Pam for hearing me out that night. We sure share the same feeling, don't ya think? Once again thanks PAM!! I love you!!!

Alright last night its my brother's girlfriend birthday and so she treat us to dinner. Had a sumptous dinner. I was bloated. Hahahaz... went window shopping at TAKASHIMAYA and all. And finally when we had enough of walking we decided to play bowling. So went to play owling and that's where i saw Ridzuwan! Yeah the last year sec 5 wan. He works there. And thanks ehh wan can't remember me. Hahaz... and i strike twice. ONLY! But at least i strike right. Hahaz!! And then played pool. Okay i sure sux at it! Seriously! Somebody, anyone, whoever have to bloody teach me how to play pool. Got a few times i jump ball! Hahahaz... so funny and paise man! Ouh well...

And today here i am blogging after having lunch + breakfast with my parents and my brother. And bro bought me a dress! So nice! I like!! Its $69.90. Not that ex so must ask him for more since he just got his pay. Hehehe... naughty me!! And since he bought a diomand donno earring or wat donno for his girfriend for her birthday!! I'm so jealous!! Hah!! Hahahaz...

Okay now i don't what more to say so i will end here.


On every branch of the tree,

Flowers do not necessarily bloom.

Everyone does not always get the love they want,

In solitude and music.

Amongst your own in shadows,

It will survive even in thorny paths.

When everything goes berserk!

I've been through a lot of shit this few days. Don't ask me what has happened. Don't wish to talk about it... It just SUX SUX SUX!! Com is sick and so am i. So yeah people i can't update much. Will blog more as soon as i get my com back. Ahhh.... my songs are all gone. Thanks a lot man!!

Sixsational

Firstly went to library just now with Farhana and Shariffah, Diyana could not make it. Ouh well. So we didn't go arcade. Without Diyana going arcade is soooo boring. So as usual with Shariffah of course there will be sooo much laughter. And next destination was to IMM. Hahahaz... again so much laughter. Then ate at Burger King. I don eat burger so i ended up eating the chicken tender. And without me realising its actually a kids meal. Look at the pictures. Hahahaz... Farhana and me were like already laughing man. Wth i eat kids meal then got toy somemore. Hahahaz... Ouh well. Big deal. People will always mistake me as a rimary school kid also. That is sooo not something to be proud of. Heloo.... i'm sec 5 okay!!



Again my mood is TOTALLY switched off today. So damn bloody bored also. Haiz... ouh well. Thanks Aaron for like at least chat with me and have to entertain my crap. I'm just sooo bloody bored. And no one else even wants to chat with me. I'm too bored for them. Hahahaz.... so sorry that you have to put up with it. Fuck fuck fuck. I don't know why i feel like saying that. So DAMN BORED la people. Haish... Ahh... i'm going to read my Princess Diaries that i borrowed from the library just now. I'm off.

when ur presence seems nothing at all...

Haiz! Alright a sigh in a start of an entry would tell you guys how i'm feeling right now. Feeling rather bored, pissed, lonely, frustrated and BORED! God! So many feelings at one go arh. Ouh well. that's really how i felt. Ouh yah one more feeling not stated. Fucked up feeling!! Wtf!! Don't ask me why. Maybe Farhana knows. In a few hours time we'll be hanging out with Farhana and Diyana. Looking forward for it because its been a long time since we last went out together. Haiz... Shariffah is too lazy to go. So ouh well. I really missed going out with the group of my girlfriends. Time flies and everything seems to be different. Everyone is busy with thier stuff. Ouh well. Hahaz... time really flies sooo fast. When i feel like going out. Away from my books at the moment. None of my girlfriends is available. Hahaz... ouh well!

Went to study Chem with Azmi just now. And wow didn't know that you are an expert in chem Mi!! Hahaz... good good can teach me. Hahahaz! Haiz... lonely~ reminds me of the song which Nurul likes to sing. 'I'm all alooooone' Hahahaz....

I am so dying to watch this movie!! Salaam Namaste!! And Priety Zinta is soooo Gorgeous!!




Alright my mood is totally switched off now!! TOTALLY!!!! So don't feel like blogging more! SO yeah... I feel like saying this: SCRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

=[[i hate smilling just to pretend i'm not hurt.i hate to giggle to show i'll be ok. i hate to laugh after i cry]]=

What a dream!

Ouhk you guys wouldn't believe it. Last night i dreamt about Casper!! Hahaz... wth right! Ouh well. Casper has always been the scariest ghost on earth! Hahahaz... no arh Casper is a friendly ghost ok. I don't mind having such nice ghost with me. Only Casper mind you. No other! Hahaz!! Alright movinh on. I'm done with English and Maths paper 2! English?! Haizz... don't need say anything. I'm confident to fail. Maths too! I can do maths though. BUt i have a big feeling that i can't make it. I thought that maths paper 2 gonna be tough since paper 1 was easy but it was okay though. I can do it but i need MORE time! Arggh!! 3 hours is not bad. Maybe i could finish the paper. Damn it man! When Mr. Su said 20 more minutes i still have another 2 more long question. Wtf man!! Haiz... ouh well. That always happen for maths. Whats new?!

Hahahaz... ouhk enough about maths. After exam just now sab, shariffah, diyana, farhana, reshmel, yi sheng and me went to have lunch at JP. Bump into Ronald quite a few times. Hahahaz!! U kuku bird never go study for exam arh. Hahahaz!! Anyways its big Ronald. Met small Ronald at the bus-stop only. Hahaz... and big Ronald i know your secret already arh!! Hahahaz!! Anws nice chatting with ya dude! So after lunch we went walk walk. As usual just window shopping. Went in toys'r us and jennyfer. And we took such a long time inside. Hahahaz... and poor Yi Sheng have to put up with our crap. Well Yi sheng that's us. But how lame or like harsh our jokes are we know that we don't mean it. Right Shariffah and Reshmel? Hahahaz! Yeah Reshmel what you said just now on the bus is sooo touching. Hope we'll not loose contact when we leave school next year yea guys! Really love ya guys man...

And this part goes out to Reshmel. Special thanks to her for always being there for me. Eversince Sab ha s left Hua Yi. You have always been there for me. Hearing to my problems and always there to cheer me up. Hahaz... i feel comfortable telling it to you though. Thanks girl. Love ya loads. And just now outside 'MJ' was a nice one. We should do it more often. Hahahaz... it nice talking with you. And especially when you are very understanding. Hahahaz... So love ya gurl! Friends Forever!

Had a nice day just now. Laughing and lauging away with my laughing partner. Hahaz... i read Candy's entry. And she is facing the same problem as me man. Hahahaz... that weird feeling. That is exactly how i felt Canz. That weird feeling whereby you get worried, uneasy but you simply don't know what is that thing you are worrying or feeling uneasy about. Yeah i also have that feeling like something bad will happened (i hope not though). Maybe one reason is my preposterous exam results that will be out soon. Or is it just other things in my life. I don't know!!! I feel like screaming. Just what is it?! I can't sleep well too this few days. Slept at around 3 am that day too! Haiz I really don't like this feeling. I have this fear in me. Fear of letting down 2 humans on this earth. My mum and dad. So i think i''m very worried about that. Maybe i'm just thinking too much but i hate to let them down. So i really hope i'll never ever gonna let them down. Love them too much. Haiz... Ouh well like you said Canz i can only hope for the best. I thought i'm the only one having this kindda feeling. Its been bugging me too man. Haiz... ouh well...

Alright Americans next top model had ended and i think its time to end my post for today too. Before i go peeps check out my biodata under 'More About Me'. I did some test. It was interesting and its like a bit true the results compare to me. Hahahaz... check it out yeah! So... yeah... tats it...

A lot like love

HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY TO NISHA!!!
Alright its a boring weekend! Stayed home because parents went to sent granny to her sister house because she is sick. Stayed home the whole with intention to study maths. BUt when i sat down. I realised i don't know what to study for tommorrow's paper. So after some hours of pure boredom. Watched a lot like love. My brother rented it because when i asked him to rent it the other day he can't. He's so sweet. So watched that sooo funny and romantic movie all by myself. Pathetic isn't it. How i wished my someone special would be sitting beside me to watched that movie also. It was an indeed humorous movie. I laughed so much to myself. Hahahaz!! And Ashton Kutcher is soooooooooo cute. He is sooooo handsome when he's hair was cut in the movie. But don't you guys think he does lok a bit like Josh Harnett when he's hair is like that!! Ah.... cutie pie alert girls!! Look at the pictures!



OMG!! His hair is soo cute. Smart isn't it Ashton?! Hahahaz! Amanda Peet too look gorgeous. I went to search for the pictures. Amazingly there were no pictures where they both kissed. Usually it will be easily found right? Hahahaz... ouh well! Not important. Just that the kissing part was very touching. Hahahaz!! And the picture at the top left hand corner, where Ashton had a guitar with him. That was another touching scene. Hahahaz... he actually sang for Amanda Peet when he like wanna tell her he likes her. And Amanda Peet was already engaged. Hahahaz... it sound ridiculous that how can this people fall in love over and over again after so many years. Hahahahaz!! As they search for love that doesn't end in disaster, they keep finding each other. And while the chemistry that first brought them togther keeps generating heat, the timing is always wrong. Hahahahaz... interesting! I like! Wonder how the feeling is like being in love. Amanda Peet was over the moon though!! Hahahaz....

Alright Yus enough enough!! Hahahaz!! Hey tommorrow is maths and english paper 2. Ouh well. I really don't have the mood to study after that sooo nice movie i watched. But too bad i got to dragged myself to hit those books. So studied. I studied the formulas and did some revision la. For me it makes no difference. I study or i don't i can never pass maths with flying colours. NO matter how much effort i put in. Ouh Well. That's me! Yus the slow poke!! Hahahaz... adding on to my 'exam problem'. Hahahaz... Mr Amran will be familiar with that phrase. Hahahz... ouh well! So too bad i studied alone since no one would want to go study with such a stups me in maths. Hahahaz! Well my winnie the pooh learn something from me though. I studied with him. Ask him anything he'll know. Cosine, Sine rule? Anything. He'll know!! Hahahahaz... lame Yus lame! My ulcer on my tongue is driving me nuts. I can hardly eat or talk. Damn! Alrite got to get back to those crazy formulas which i have to memorise.

*Thanks Zal for the advice just now. Appreaciate it! All the best for your paper tommorrow dude!!

Last of illusion...

Hectic day indeed. Early in the morning had tuition and it was soooo frustrating that he did not do the worksheet i gave him that day. He is so weak yet he's not doing anything. Not knowing that angle in a straight line is 180 degrees is really suicidal for someone to take 'N' level. God! Anyways, i'm nobody to say anything. Ouh well! Just hope he'll do well for his N!! Alright to after tuition off for henna appointment with my cousin. My brother was so sweet to send me there knowing that i'll go alone. And guess what! He just bought a new bike. I remembered what was the name just though CARI... Something something. Can't remember! Hahahaz... its RED! And nice!! The sound was great. It feels more comfortable then the current bike he have. It have been a long time since i rode on a bike. It feels sooo good! Or rather GREAT!! I wished i could wear the 'LRS' helmet. The design is soooo bloody nice. The combination colour of red and yellow is sooo nice when the helmet itself is black. I likE!! I feel like sitting on a bike again. Enjoying the air. Hahaz... at night will be better. But i don wanna hug my brother. Yikes! But i have to because quite scary la he ride the bike. So laju and like i can go fly man! Hahahaz... and my mama will be like "Bawak baik baik. Abang bawak org sekeping jugak ni!" Its like hellooo... i'm fat okay! I wouldn't fly off that easily. Maybe just the helmet because my head was too small for it. And the helmet is sortta big!

So as soon as i reached my cousin place. I start doing my job. For hours wearing henna for people was really torturing for my hand! Hahahaz... but i enjoy it! Hahaz... sorry Mi that you have to wait for me when you messaged me. Was really busy. But enjoy tallking with you on the phone just now watching the last episode of Baby Blues!! Hahaz... so many babies man! I likE! Hahaz... i so love Shanhu! She is sooo pretty! And Harada is sooo romantic to give jingsaw puzzle to that girl. Forget her name laa. Whatever her name is. And he the way he said will you marry me. AHHHHHH!!!!!!! Hahahaz... Azmi i heard you say that but ouh well... not yet the right time! Hahahahahahaz.... at least i don't go run like that girl just to wear the gown!! Hahahaz... NUTS!

I want more famous amos lei! Bro bought just now then finish already. *sob sob* Was talking with mama just now when she suddenly talk about me finding a good boyfriend! And i try to change the topic but then she start it all. Haiz... so the least i would do is listen and say "Yeah... ok!" She said stuff like Find someone that is sincere about you. If he don't wanna show you to his parents means he have something that he keep from you. And if he don't want to send your house door he's definately don't want to face your parents and is not serious about you. Find someone who knows about religion not a lot a bit also can. Someone who have a stable job. FInd someone who confirm no wife or girlfriend. And lots more. If i list down not enough! Hahahaz... well what my mum say are all true. Sometimes i feel that finding your someone for you to be with, sharing your happiness and sorrow are really not easy. You have to really find the right one. One thing that i will never forget. My mum always say that Men are very good at words. Don't be influenced by thier sweet words. Hahahaz... maybe that's why i'm this stubborn. Just not convince. Ouh well!! Hahahaz... i think its true though. Sometimes thier words are just to make you impressed. And when you are already impressed everything will be a different story.

Haiz... whatever man. Maybe all this is not for me now. So i'll just wait for someone who is like what my mum say. All those sincerity and all. I don't even think love exist so why must all these guys even exist right. Ouh well. Maybe time will prove me wrong or maybe not. Ouh well. I just love saying that. Ouh well! Hahahaz... especially from my daily live! I think love is really not there. They just don't exist. Look at everyone who used to say the 'love' me. Look how crappy it can be. They say the meant it but after a while when i say i don't like them they will have a new someone to say that too. Hahahaz... Yah people do move on. But i wonder if its that easy to really forget someone to like another person. That exactly make me confuse how does this love shit happens. Hahahaz...

So much about love... moving on. Its like already 10 minutes to 1am and i am still awake. Hahaz.. i don't know why i can't sleep well these few days. And last night i think i slept at around 3. I can't bloody sleep. Just what happened to me i don't know. Ouh well! There i go again. Ouh well! Hahaz... i'm obsessed with this mala song but i don't know what is the title because its sort of an old song. Hahaz.. legend. So i'm off to search the title of the song in yahoo to ask husain ('my best cousin'...heh heh!!) to download. Husain you are sooo nice. Ouh yah Aaron also!! Hahahaz...

Wee...

Happy 17th Birthday Farhana!!!

Alright yesterday was one of the best day of my life where i spent the day with Coexistence!! Especially with CANDY!! I miss her man. And Candy you look great man now! ya lah ya lah your hair the colour can be seen. Hahahaz... nice man! Watched red eye and the story was superb. I don't know why my brother say its boring. Its very thrilling. For some reasons Rachel McAdams look like Preity Zinta. Just that Priety have a dimple but she don't. But her lips so like Priety Zinta. Pretty chicks. Grr... And Coexistence took neoprints. Its awesome. Hahahaz... Look...

The first one... but this one we were like "Where is Sab?! Sab Sab Sab??!!" And there no Sab! Hahaz...



Coexistence the fast and the furrious! Don't play play!!



We look sweet aren't we?!



Ouh please people don't be jealous! Hahaz...



Heyy CE just wanna say that you rock my life girls! Thanks for being such a great friend! You guys sure don't deserve me as a good friend. I'm sorry about that but i love ya guys man! May our friendship last forever and ever!! Cheers!! COEXISTENCE IS IN THE HOUSE yesterday in town!! Hahahaz....Candy i want the pics we took desperately...Hahaz!!

Alright been out for these past 5 days. And still i have yet to start studying. So gotta slog through the whole day today studying maths i think. So yeah... dragging myself to all those frigging irritating books!

wishes, wishes and more wishes...

On this 6th September, i would like to wish a very...

HaPpY 24th BiRtHdAy To My BrOtHeR, Sahfizad!!!!

may God Bless with good health always!!

HaPpY 25th AnNiVeRsArY to My MaMa AnD PaPa!!!
HaPpY bELaTeD 17th bIrtHdAy To FaRhAn!!!

Wow... so many greeting isn't it. Ouh well told ya there's a lot of people whom i know have to be born this month. Hahahaz... i'm sorry people! There's just too many of you that i can't buy each and everyone of you a gift. There's still Farhana, ili, Li yu, Nisha, my brother's girlriend and my anuty! Phew... what a month!! Hahaz... so sorry yah if i got nothing for you for your birthday! But i will always pray for you that you guys born this September will be blessed with good health and may all of you pass your 'O' level with flying colours. And that to those not taking Os... hahaz... may you succeed in life and achieve your goals! So there... hahahaz!! Woke up quite early today although been on the ohone with Azmi yesterday for like hours and late at night. Hahaz... laugh so much on the phone with Mi last night. Hahahaz... could not stand the 'Ali Setan' thingy! Azmi you are nuts! Crazy fellar! Alright i have yet to start studying. I got bloody no mood to start revising my work. Ouh well... when laziness strikes...

Happy Together!

Yay! Mama and papa have come back home safely! I'm so happy to see my mama again! That tonight i'm going to sleep with her. Hahahaz! Shuttup people! Its not funny sleeping with your mum ok. Hahahaz! Anyways parents came back and then staright away went to my cousin house for a house woman. And then went home again because my dad was soo tired and he need some nap. So while he was sleeping, my mum and me watched 'Naina'. It an hindi version of 'The Eye'. Yes 'The Eye' the chinese ghost story. Its exactly the same just that the actress is Urmila Mathondkar and its in Hindi! One typical hindi movie without songs! Hahahaz... and then went out to causeway point. Did some shopping. Bro bought this stupid hover disc that he ever bought and spoilt it and then he bought again just now. My dad and i was like where the hell are you going to play that thingy man! Waste money only. I went to this Maui and Son shop and he T-Shirt are all so nice. Quite ex though. So thought of just looking around when my bro say faster take, i want to pay already! So ape lagi... hahahaz! I took one and bro choose for me another one. So in the end bought two!! Hahahaz... thanks bro! Love you many many!! Damn it mann! Bro wanted to buy for me perfume. I only like Issey Miyake and thanks ehh. They don't have Issey Miyake. So bye bye! Hahahaz! Anyways perfume is not important i don't really like wearing them because too much of it will make me go, 'Ahhhh Chewwww'!! Hahahaz... and then went to have late dinner. My brother and i was like already starving because i only ordered Macdonals for my lunch + breakfast while my brother went to his friend's wedding. So went to have Seafood!! Hahaz... as usual my favourite 'lemon chicken'. My brother suggested to eat at 'Siam Kitchen' (is that even the name) or 'Sanur' (an Indonesian cuisine) but my mum and me were like 'huh... don't want la'!! So went to this place where the foods were superb! Hahaz... it was our first try at that place but we will sure come again back again because it was delicious and phew simply superb!! Hahaz.. and i am eventually bloated. I loved my family sooo bloody much!! Hahaz... ouh well wanna go hug my mama... again... since already 3 days never hug her!! Hahahahaz!!!

Boredom kills

Oh my god 2 days being stuck at home is really killing me! Especially when my mama nad papa is so far from me! I missed them sooooooooo bloody much! Can't wait for them to come back. I want MAMA and PAPA badly!! Sab already went to work and she can't stay at my place tonight. So if my brother is not going to be home early tonight i will be ALONE!! Ahhhhhhh..... hate it!!! And i really don't feel like studying at all. I don't know why i have been feeling uneasy about something. It is really bothering and worrying me. For some reasons i then be so disturbed and scared about it. Alright peeps don't ask me what is it because i prefer to keep it to myself. Haiz...
I want to go out of this house but this uneasiness just stops me. AHHHH!!!! Wtf...

Watched midnight movie yesterday. HERBIE!! Hahaz, it was fun. Herbie is so cute. Especially when he falls in love with the yellow volkswagen!! My future car!! Hahahaz... and Lindsay Lohan is Soooooooo damn beautiful. Irresistable beauty. Then brother ordered Macdonalds at like 3am in he morning. Oh my god! Don't blame me if i'm fat man! My best friend and my borther is torturing me with all those nice food. Sab is like way thinner than me but her appetite damn big man! Hahahahaz... Well Sab i hope you enjoyed the meal! Then spent the night talking and talking away. I'm still sleepy hope Sab is still as strong at work now. Hahahaz! But we do get some sleep la!

And here i am today. Bored don't know what to do at home so i change my skin! Sab choose this skin last night. So if she likes it then i likes it too. Sometimes we do have the same taste. Hahaz... but as long as we don't fall for the same guy can already! Which is like IMPOSSIBLE. Hahahaz.... right Sab? No mood to blog anything this weekend so guess i'll end here. **BORED...SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!**

**Special thanks to my dearest grandmother who have been very concern bout me being alone at hoome that she calls me like so many times! Hahaz... appreciate it! Love u granny!!**

Flop flop flop...

Ouh well though me and Shariffah went studying just now i think i'm still going to flop my Science paper! Don't know why but just have that feeling. Ahh, don't wish to talk about it! anyways Shariffah thanks for studying with me and your memory is super good man! I wish i could be as clever as you! There was this man in Macdonald just now sitting beside me and Shariffah was like already laughing at his funny face and he was basically looking at me. Worst! I can't stop laughing of course. But i was scared all of a sudden when he kept looking at me. And i was like telling Shariffah "Ehh i think he know arh we laughing at him! Stop laughing la Shariffah"! And the more i say that the more Shariffah laugh! Thanks ehh shariffah! Aku yang kener!! That man was just staring at me! Eeee... seram! And worst still there was a lizard under my seat! So of course i freak out!!! Like DUH!! Who won't! The guy beside me can still happy happy say "erm... under your seat got lizard!!!" God!!! And PAM!! Guess who i saw! The one whom i always fought with 24/7 when we are in HYPB!! VINCENT!!!! Yes VINCENT!! I thought he didn't realised i was there but he said "Yes Yusliza" Hahahaz... and i was like "heloo!" Saw Johnathan too. Vincent was with this ex Hua Yi guy! Erm... jjust couldn't remember his name. Like his name got my something not zaimy... maybe Raimy arh... Not sure la! We never once talk also for the 4 years in Hua Yi! Hahahaz... just now also just smile only! Okay la Sab is on the line so got to go talk with her.

EXAMS SUX FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!